


How To Save A Life

by Sasslicious



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Medical, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cheating, Cheating Louis, Doctors & Physicians, Grey's Anatomy - Freeform, Grey's Anatomy AU, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Pining, Power Imbalance, Pregnancy, Sexual Harassment, Side 5 Seconds of Summer, Side Little Mix, Surgery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-03
Updated: 2016-03-13
Packaged: 2018-03-13 23:38:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 28,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3400466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sasslicious/pseuds/Sasslicious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After spending four years in med-school, Harry Styles thinks he’s prepared for what’s to come as a surgical intern at Seattle Grace Hospital, and that does not include falling for his boss.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello :) I got the idea for this fic while watching Grey's Anatomy, I've also wanted to write something like this for a while so I decided why not?  
> So I'm gonna base the beginning of the plot off of Grey's, and you'll most likely recognize certain events from the show, I'm still gonna put my own twist to it though. Harry's sort of gonna be Meredith, while Louis' gonna be Derek.  
> The story is obviously going to include medical terms and such, so if you have absolutely no idea what something means, just Google it. I would also like to say that I'm obviously not a doctor, so if I exaggarete the extent of some injury etc. I apologize.
> 
> I'll update as often as possible, but I'm in school and I'm also writing a book, so it won't be too often. I'll try to update at least twice a month. 
> 
> Now that all that is said, enjoy :)
> 
>  
> 
>  

He had forgotten to shut the blinds. He was sure. Rays of sunlight were crawling through the crevice between the curtains and hit him right in the face. Unfortunately he had also seemed to forget to put in the memory card last night, because the whole night was just a foggy blur. He opened his eyes, slowly adjusting to the bright light. Then it occurred to him, he was naked. His eyes flickered across the room, tried their hardest to spot his underpants or at least a blanket. Right, there it was. The bright blue, shabby blanket was lying on the floor right in front of him. He was about to pick it up and drape it around his waist when he instantaneously spotted it. _Him,_ it was a him. He lied there on his stomach with the blanket softly on top of him. How inconvenient how that memory card had been left at home the night before. He swiftly snitched the blanket off of him and wrapped it around his waist. He was about to leave to shower when he found his glare plastered on the naked man's behind. Well, to be fair it was a very nice ass, _very_ nice. He grabbed a pillow from the couch and carefully placed in on the exposed bum. He was again about the leave when a raspy "Good morning." broke the air.

He turned around finding two eyes with the color of the Tenerife Sea looking at him.   
"Thanks for snitching the blanket by the way, really enjoying exposing my junk like this." the blue-eyed guy continued sarcastically, grinning at him.   
"I'm sorry, I -" he replied stutteringly.  The guy got on his feet holding the pillow like a shield in front of his private parts.  
“…I, ehm… I'm starting a new job today, and I really need to shower, I'm sorry-" he continued still stammering. He tried not to stare at the perfectly toned man in front of him, but he failed miserably. Dark messy hair framing in a face so pretty it was almost feminine, cheekbones so sharp they probably could cut paper, and the eyes, the very blue eyes. He swallowed.   
"So, ehm, when I come back you won't be here." he stuttered attempting to sound confident. The Godlike man in front of him most definitely did not buy it.   
"Sure, thanks for yesterday then… what was your name again?" the guy said smiling confusedly at him. 

Oh no, so this was that kind of occurrence. Well, he should probably have considered it when he didn't even know there was a naked man looking like a Greek God coming to earth to be a model on his floor. After a few drinks, he had a talent for forgetting to tell people his name, especially when they seemed to have the same problem.   
"Harry." he said reaching his hand out to him. After a few seconds he realized the guy wasn't going to shake it as he was holding onto the pillow with both of his hand.  
"I'm Louis." he said giggling. Oh God, even his laugh was angelic.  
"OK, ehm - Louis, when I come back you won't be here." he said hiding a flash of red in his face by turning around walking toward the stairs.   
"Sure." the guy replied cockily. As he reached the stairs, Harry turned around gazing back into the living room. He had turned around and let go of the pillow. He let himself study the perfect curves of his naked back for a few seconds, before he decided to contain himself and stroll upstairs.

 

The shower had been tremendously refreshing. His hair was still slightly wet as he entered the front door of the hospital. He had been there once before, at some kind excursion when he was still in university. According to the information he had received in the mail, he was supposed to meet up with the rest of the interns to receive further instructions on the fifth floor.  He was walking towards the elevator when he bumped into someone.

"Oh, I'm sorry mate." a blonde guy shot in a strong Irish accent with an enormous grin filling his face.   
"It's cool, I wasn't really looking where I was stepping, it was my fault." he replied as the guy clicked the up-button on the wall.   
"No need to allocate blame, eh? I'm Niall by the way…" the Irish-man said still grinning.  
"Right. I'm Harry." He shook his outreached hand and returned the smile. The elevator doors opened and they both stepped in. Niall pressed the "5" button on the wall and looked over at him.  
"You're an intern too, or?" he asked as Harry didn't press any other button.   
"Yeah, a little nervous." he replied.   
"Me too, mate. We'll be fine though, you know, if we happen to pass out, at least we're in a hospital, eh?" Niall giggled. He nodded, wished he could adopt his carefree attitude. Unfortunately, he was still a bit hungover and shaken from the unexpected encounter earlier, which didn't exactly make the nervousness any less nauseating.   
"Probably." he mumbled as the elevator doors slid apart. They walked out and towards the assigned area where they were handed scrubs and white lab coats. The woman handing them out then directed them to a locker-room already filled with nervous interns. Harry used the key he was given to open a locker and put his bag in. He dragged his sweater off of him revealing his torso and neck.

"Wild night yesterday, eh?" Niall asked dragging the top of the scrubs over his head.  
"I beg your pardon?" Harry asked looking confusedly at him. No matter how good of a foot they had got off on, that question was a tad personal, wasn't it?

"Not to sound like a creeper or anything, but you have blood-red scratch marks on your back… and, ehm, your neck…" he gesticulated dragging his fingers down his own exposed neck. Harry froze. _Shit._

In his defense, he had been in quite a daze while getting ready, and he hadn't noticed the extreme territory marks that Greek God had left on him. He quickly pulled the scrubs over his head and tried to hide the blushing flashing over his face.   
"OK, I'm sorry, we just met and here I go commenting on-" Niall begun as Harry interrupted him.  
"No, no. It's fine, I just hadn't noticed." he replied looking around making sure no one else had noticed their conversation. He lowered his voice and leaned down next to him.   
"Just managed to wake up next to someone and not remember shit, so I don't really know if it was wild, but obviously I would presume so." he continued making Niall brake out in laughter. He was about to reply as a guy in a tie and a lab-coat stepped in. He cleared his throat and gazed over the assembling crowd.

 

"Good morning. I'm Dr. Payne, chief of surgery." he began exuding authority and experience.  
"Dr. Pain, well that's fortunate, eh?" Niall whispered giggly. Harry just shook his head, really hoped that was not the way his name was spelled.

"Each of you comes here today a hopeful, wanting in on the game. A month ago you were in med school being taught by doctors. Today, you are the doctors.” Dr. Payne began still glaring over the crowd. Harry could feel the anticipation reek in the assembling. Dr. Payne seemed to be a man in his mid-thirties, probably an overachiever considering the fact he was chief of freaking surgery at such a young age. He smiled tiredly as he continued his speech.

“The seven years you spend here as a surgical resident will be the best and worst of your life. You will be pushed to the breaking point. Look around you. Say hello to your competition.” Everyone in the locker room did as they were told. Harry let his gaze wander. No one in particular caught his eye. Everyone was dressed in light blue and a white lab coat, everyone were the same, an over-worked, cocky med-student, who was sure that they in particular had got exactly what I would take to become the next big, the one who cured cancer, Alzheimer. He swallowed.

“Eight of you will switch to an easier specialty. Five of you will crack under the pressure and two of your will be asked to leave. This is your starting line. This is your arena. How well you play? That's up to you." Dr. Payne concluded and applause scattered. Harry joined forcedly.

“Now you’re going to be called in groups and assigned to a resident who will give you further instructions, good luck.” Dr. Payne nodded to the crowd and exited the room as whom Harry assumed to be his assistant stepped in front of them and started calling names.

 

“What are the odds, though? It’s like we’re meant to be.” Niall joked as they walked down the hall to where they had been told Dr. Nelson would be - their assigned resident.   
“Well, at least I will know the name of one of my colleagues.” Harry replied as they approached a curvy brunette. She turned around looking at them with a set of tired, brown eyes.   
“Pinnock, Horan, Thirlwall, Clifford and… Styles?” she asked reading the names off of a piece of paper. Harry looked at the people next to him. There was a petite brunette, a girl with a big afro and a guy with greasy blue hair. He wondered how someone expected to be taken seriously with hair the color of a peacock, but at least he stood out.

“Just to clarify, I’m not your friend, I’m your boss. I don’t want to hear about your pathetic personal problems, I don’t want any idiotic excuses. You do what I tell you, those are the rules.” Dr. Nelson started off coming off a bit more intimidating than expected. The group nodded tentatively.

“Great. Here are your pagers, answer them no matter what.” She said gesticulating to the pagers on the counter beside her.

“Let’s get down to the pit. As for today you’ll only observe, unless I say otherwise, let’s go.” She told and started walking for the elevator.

 

As they reached the emergency room a gurney was rushed through the doors accompanied by two ambulance workers.   
“Car-crash victim, 25 year old female, trauma to the head, CPR was performed on the scene.”  One of them exclaimed as Dr. Nelson ran over to them.

“Look at the head-wound though…” Niall whispered. Harry didn’t look; this was a bit much for his first day.   
“Styles, Horan, come with me to trauma room three!” Dr. Nelson shouted running forwards followed by the gurney. Harry and Niall exchanged looks.   
“Are we supposed to follow her?” Harry asked. Niall just shrugged and ran after her.

When they reached the trauma room, the gurney was already placed on a table and Dr. Nelson and a few nurses were all over the patient.

“BP is 120 over 98.” One of the nurses ascertained. Dr. Nelson nodded affirmatively.   
“The head wound is bleeding rapidly; too many superficial blood-vessels have been damaged. Styles! Check if the pupils are reactive.” She continued. Harry looked over at Niall, swallowed nervously. What happened to “just observing”? Well, he was just going to check the pupils, it was impossible to fail doing that, right? It was not like he would hold the patient’s life in his hands. He stepped forward, pulling a tiny flashlight out of the pocket of his lab coat. Shakenly he dragged her eyelids apart, took a deep breath and held the flashlight in front of her eye.

“Left pupil’s reactive.” He said still a bit shaken. He continued with the other eye. Nothing happened when he flashed the light. He swallowed again, had to remind himself that he hadn’t done anything wrong, he was just checking.  
“Right pupil’s blown.” He concluded.   
“Page neuro.” Dr. Nelson responded nodding at one of the nurses. Harry stepped away from the patient putting the flashlight back in his pocket. He took a deep breath and looked over at Niall whom had adopted a pale greenish color to his face.

“Horan, go check if there has been delivered any ID to the counter.” Dr. Nelson said. Niall swallowed loudly and left the room.  Harry was about to ask nicely if he could go with Niall when the door went open and someone stepped inside.

“What have we got here, Nelson?” a strangely familiar voice asked in a British accent as a dark-haired man walked over to the patient.   
“25 year old female, trauma to the head and the right pupil is not reactive.” She replied stepping out of his way. Harry stood quietly in the corner trying to figure out where he had heard his voice before as the man turned to the side revealing his profile.

“Fuck.” The word had just fallen out of his mouth; he hadn’t intended to say it. He was trying to seem professional for God’s sake. But there he stood in front of him; the Greek God from earlier that morning. Well, he hadn’t recognized him at first with his clothes on, but damn; he was even hotter in a lab coat. But thinking about it, Harry was sure that British accent had not been there earlier… Well, maybe he didn’t have a British accent, he had only said like one sentence thus far, maybe it was his tone, or maybe Harry was still drunk.  

The Greek God pulled out a flashlight and repeated what Harry had already done.   
“She’s gonna need a MRI, order that for me, love.” He said nodding at one of the nurses; the accent even more evident than before. Harry swallowed watching him place the flashlight back in pocket when he noticed the ring on his finger, the _wedding_ ring on his finger. He swallowed even louder making him turn around noticing him. There was no sign of recognition in his face.

“Oh, I didn’t see you there. I’m Dr. Tomlinson, head of neuro.” He acclaimed reaching his hand out.

What kind of coincidence was this? Harry’s drunken one-night-stand turned out to be his superior, the fucking head of neuro. He wanted to puke. But the worst thing seemed to be that the guy had no memory of him, or he was just an ignorant prick… or he was married. Harry took his hand shaking it cautiously.

“I’m Harry… I mean Dr. Styles, I’m an intern.” He stuttered, still not used to calling himself a doctor.   
“Well, Dr. Styles, take the patient to radiology.” Dr. Tomlinson commanded. Harry nodded as the Greek God left the room.

 

…

 

“I’m not really hungry.” Harry mumbled putting his tray down on the table in the cafeteria.   
“I’m always hungry.” Niall replied doing the same thing.

“At least you guys weren’t stuck observing rectal-exams.” Leigh-Anne, the girl with the afro, replied.   
“It was gross, makes me regret not becoming a Walmart-employee instead.” The petite brunette, whose name was Jade, continued.   
“Well, at least you didn’t need to perform one.” The blue-haired guy named Michael said with his mouth filled with fries.   
“You didn’t have to, you only said yes to show off to that doctor, clearly.” Jade replied rolling her eyes.   
“I most certainly did not.” He spit putting even more fries into his mouth. Harry opened the can of coke he had bought and took a sip. Thinking about it, he would prefer rectal-exams over running into his one-night-stand only to discover he was a married douche who faked his accent when cheating, and on top of it all was his boss.

“Whatever. Anyway, Leigh, did you see the neuro-guy? Freaking hot, like damn.” Jade said turning away from Michael. Leigh-Anne nodded excitingly.   
“Yes, oh my god!” She replied. Harry wanted to say something, but decided it was for the best not to.

“Talking about hot, Dr. Nelson’s got a great bum, don’t you think Harry?” Niall interrupted. Harry put down the can looking over at him.   
“I guess so, I’m not really the one to judge.” He mumbled fiddling with his sandwich.   
“Why not?” Niall asked taking a bit of his. Considering he most likely would spend a great amount of his career with these people, Harry decided to be frank from the beginning.   
“I’m gay.” He replied putting the sandwich down, waiting for a reaction from the people around the table. Jade and Leigh-Anne smiled encouragingly while Michael sat expressionless still with his mouth filled with fries.   
“Oh, I see, that’s cool.” Niall said.  
“Please don’t say you’re one of those people who figure out someone’s gay, only to ignore them because they’re afraid they’ll fall in love with you?” Harry mumbled turning to the blonde Irish-man.   
“Ha-ha, God no, you’re not gonna get rid of that easily. But you think I’m fit, eh? Nice getting an honest opinion, you know.” Niall exclaimed grinning. Harry smiled shaking his head.   
“You’re not really my type, so why don’t you ask one of the ladies.” He replied nodding at Jade and Leigh-Anne.

 

…

 

Harry had been commanded to deliver the MRI-scans to the head of neuro by Dr. Nelson. He was mildly nervous. As far as he could tell Dr. Tomlinson was standing at the end of the hallway talking to two other doctors, a very handsome Arabian looking guy and a bubbly blonde.   
“Dr. Tomlinson?” he stuttered as he reached them. The blonde and the Arab left and Dr. Tomlinson turned around.

“Harry!” he smirked. So maybe he did remember him after all, maybe he had selective memory and decided that this was a good time to acknowledge that he had nailed an intern.   
"You're British?” the words tumbled out of his mouth.   
“No, not at all.” He replied sarcastically shaking his head. “But really, I thought that was very obvious, honestly.” He continued piercing him with the blue gaze.   
“You weren’t this morning.” Harry stammered clutching the scans closer to his chest.   
“Pretty sure I’ve been my whole life. What do you want?” he said not seeming to be in mood for that whole conversation.

“I have Lisa Hopkins’ scans – ehm - the girl with the head trauma.” Harry replied looking down.   
“Great, come with me.” Dr. Tomlinson said walking over to a door at the other end of the hall. He opened it up and Harry followed. The room was dimmed and filled with light-screens which’s purpose was to provide a better picture of the scans. Harry handed them carefully over and Dr. Tomlinson turned the screens on placing the scans on them.   
“So, what’ve got here, Harry?” he asked pointing at the MRI-images. Harry stepped forwards stopping next to him.   
“There’s a hematoma, I think she’ll need surgery considering the extent.” He mumbled looking down.   
“Speak up for God’s sake, I can barely hear you and I’m standing two inches from you. You’re not here to think, you’re here to know, if you don’t decide what to do; your patient will die.” Dr. Tomlinson nearly shouted.   
“I’m sorry, I-“ Harry decided to shut up. There was obviously no way to impress this guy.   
“Hey, don’t be offended. You’re right, she’ll need surgery, and you’ll scrub in with me.” Dr. Tomlinson said turning the screen off walking towards the door.   
“Wait!” Harry spit. He turned around slowly. Shit, what was he going to say? They obviously needed to clear up what had happened that morning, but this guy already seemed shady enough, Harry wasn’t sure if he wanted or needed any more confusion, but if he was going to spend countless hours with him in surgery, he needed answers.

He walked over to him stopping right in front of him. Harry couldn’t help but notice how much shorter he appeared fully clothed, but also how much he wanted to just slam him against the wall and pick up where they had left off last night.   
“What?” he said lowering his voice.   
“Just… this morning,” Harry began.   
“I’m your superior, Harry, that’s all you need to know. What that means you can figure out yourself.” He replied.   
“But…” If only he could remember his first name, this whole thing was going to get awkward if he called him Dr. Tomlinson.   
“… you, ehm.” He just shook his head turning to the door.  
“See you in surgery, Harry.” He said walking out.

Harry groaned loudly. This was not how his first day was supposed to be. He was not supposed to be that intern who fucked an attending. He was supposed to be great, he was supposed to be impressive, show off his knowledge and competence, not stand there stammering and blushing like a thirteen year old girl. He was also not supposed to have sex with a married man, especially not one who went around faking his accent and hiding his wedding ring while picking up drunk, impressionable guys in bars late at night. He wanted to scream, loudly. 


	2. Chapter 2

When Harry showed up in the OR, the patient was already sedated and ready on the table. He went straight to the scrub room, hoping to avoid running into Dr. Tomlinson while being alone. He scrubbed for about five minutes just to be sure. He was about to leave the scrub room as Dr. Tomlinson stepped in wearing a blue scrub-cap over the dark brown hair and a mask around his neck.

“Dr. Nelson wasn’t happy when I told her I would have you with me in there, she said you were supposed to join the rest of them in the gallery.” He exclaimed as he started scrubbing. Harry looked at him while dragging his brown curls up in a bun and putting a cap over them.   
“I managed to persuade her though.” He continued looking over at him with the enchanting blue gaze. Harry didn’t say anything, just stood there semi-paralyzed not knowing how to react.   
“Oh, lighten up, Harry. You’re the first of your cohort to see the inside of an OR.” Well, he obviously had no idea what kind of awkward position he was placed in.

“Styles… it’s Dr. Styles.” He mumbled looking down. Dr. Tomlinson stopped scrubbing and turned the faucet off with his elbow. He turned around holding his hands up making sure they wouldn’t get desterilized. His expression was unreadable.   
“I’m pretty sure it’s Harry, unless I say otherwise.” He said lifting his shoulder and walking past him into the OR.

Harry took a deep breath. He wanted to punch something… or someone. He wished Dr. Nelson had been resistant, refusing him the privilege of joining the surgery. Sure, he would probably learn a lot, and it was a great opportunity, and he was certain Dr. Tomlinson was a great surgeon, but he just didn’t want to be in there. He got that he was an attending, that he was a nobody compared to him, but he didn’t want to be treated like this. Not that he had done anything fully inappropriate, at least not yet, but refusing to call him by his last name was not how it was supposed to be. He wasn’t even supposed to know his first name, and that just reminded him of how he needed to forget last night. He took another deep breath and walked slowly into the OR.

Dr. Tomlinson had dragged the mask over his face and stood behind the patient’s head. Harry couldn’t help but sigh. Of course his eyes had to match everything he was wearing, of course the mask had to reflect the blueness making his eyes even more irresistible.  
“Are you coming?” For a split second Harry managed to take it the wrong way, thinking that his amaze for him was that obvious. He shook his head to shake the thought away and walked over to the operating-table. Dr. Tomlinson seemed to have understood his interpretation of what he had said and shook his head.

“Don’t you think that was a bit inappropriate?” he whispered as Harry reached him. Harry didn’t reply, just cleared his throat looking helplessly up at the gallery where Niall and the rest of the interns were seated.   
“Scalpel.” Dr. Tomlinson acclaimed.  

The surgery went by tremendously slow. From time to time, Dr. Tomlinson asked questions Harry had no idea how to answer, and he managed to seem utter incompetent.

“Harry, hold the clamp.” He suddenly said reaching the clamp over to him. Harry just stared at it for a few seconds.  
“Really?” he mumbled.  
“Does it look like I’m joking? Take it for God’s sake, I’ve only got two hands.” Dr. Tomlinson nearly shouted. Harry swallowed and grabbed the clamp.

 

…

 

“You need to change your attitude.” Dr. Tomlinson said back in the scrub room.  
“You’re slow and unfocused, plus you need to learn how to speak up.” He continued tossing the mask in the trashcan.   
“… after all, you didn’t seem to have any problems with the volume of your voice last night.” Harry’s eyes shut wide. Enough was enough, he was pretty sure he now had crossed a line.

“Come again?” he whispered. Dr. Tomlinson turned around piercing him with the blue gaze.  
“Oh, I’d love too.” He replied smirking.   
“… just, that would be sort of against the rules, wouldn’t it?” he said walking up against him. Harry’s gaze flickered. The OR was cleared, there was no one insight, they were completely alone. In all honesty, he really wanted to just grab that rude little bastard and throw him against the wall till he begged for mercy, but it was more likely it would happen the other way around.

“You feel intimidated by me.” He whispered walking even closer. Harry swallowed.   
“You can’t do this.” He replied studying him, trying to remember how his body felt against his.   
“I’m the boss, I can do whatever I want… you on the other hand, you could be thrown out of the program for inappropriate behavior.” Dr. Tomlinson whispered slowly picking his wedding ring out of the pocket of his scrubs. While staring into his eyes he put it on his finger.

“You can’t talk to me like that.” He whispered back.  
“… You should treat me like you would treat any other intern.” He continued.   
“Make me.” He replied licking his lip. Damn, that was the last straw. Harry looked around, making sure that he had been right when concluding they were completely alone. He wasn’t sure what this guy wanted, but he was sure it wasn’t a platonic working-relationship. He leaned down taking in the smell of his cologne.   
“I did a great job on your neck there, didn’t I?” Dr. Tomlinson replied dragging his fingers down the contour of the hickey.   
“You sure did.” He whispered. An endless contemplating circulated inside his head. What would the consequences be if he kissed this gorgeous, most likely married man who appeared to be his boss? He didn’t know, and honestly he didn’t really care. He leaned even closer catching his gaze. Suddenly Dr. Tomlinson stepped back.

“We’re gonna have to go update the husband.” He mumbled wiping his face. He walked slowly backwards with an unreadable expression before he turned around and walked out of the door. Harry took a deep breath, what the hell had just happened? He gathered himself and followed him. Dr. Tomlinson stood outside waiting for him.

“The husband is seated in the waiting area.” He noted twisting the wedding ring around looking at him through his eyelashes. Harry swallowed and nodded.  
“Mr. Hopkins?” Dr. Tomlinson said as they reached the waiting room. A flustered guy got on his feet and they walked over to him.

“I’m Dr. Tomlinson; I’ve operated on your wife. The surgery was successful, the next 24 hours are critical, but I expect a full recovery.” He said quickly and emotionless. The guy thanked him and even hugged him. Harry just stood there with a fake smile plastered all over his face.

 

…

 

“Hey man! How was the surgery?” Michael nearly shouted as he ran up to him. Harry had been sitting alone on an abandoned gurney ever since Dr. Tomlinson had left to take Mr. Hopkins to his wife.  
“It was fine…” he mumbled slowly lifting his gaze to look at the blue-haired guy sitting down next to him.  
“Gotta say I’m jealous, like really fucking jealous. Did you get to see the brain, was it like the coolest shit ever?” he continued excitingly.   
“Yeah, sure.” Harry replied as Jade and Leigh-Anne reached them.

“Dude, you’re so lucky!” Jade said and patted her hand on his shoulder. He realized that he should show a little more enthusiasm, he had actually been the first of his class to see an exposed brain, but he just wasn’t feeling it.   
“So, we were gonna go to the bar across the street and celebrate the fact that we survived our first day, care to join us? Niall will come too.” Leigh asked.  
“Nah, no thanks. I’m just really tired, so I’ll go home and get some sleep. See you guys tomorrow?” Harry replied as he got up.  
“Yeah, OK. Bye then.” Leigh said as he walked away.

When he reached the locker-room it was cleared out and no-one was in sight. He sat down on a bench and took a deep breath. He was screwed, so screwed. What the hell was he doing anyway? Firstly, that man was married, secondly, he was his goddamn boss and thirdly, he wasn’t even nice. What the hell was he doing? There was no room for acting like a twelve year old with a crush. He couldn’t freeze in the OR, he couldn’t stutter or act like a moron. He had busted his ass in med-school, and he wasn’t going to throw all that away over some jerk of a guy.

He got up and walked over to his locker and dragged the scrubs off. As he stood there in his underpants he opened the locker and pulled his jeans out. He put them on and was about the reach for his sweater as a voice broke the air.   
“Heading home?” Harry turned around just to meet Dr. Tomlinson’s blue gaze staring at him. He stood in the doorway wearing tight, ripped jeans, and Adidas t-shirt and a leather jacket. He tried to gather himself before speaking, but it was kind of impossible when he looked like _that._   
“Ehm, yes…” he stuttered, trying not to drool.   
“So you’re not the kind of guy to go for a drink after work?” Dr. Tomlinson replied smirking. Harry took a deep breath and tried not to freak out as he realized he was still standing there shirtless… in front of his boss slash one night stand.

“I was… ehm, just gonna go home.” He mumbled under his breath and put his sweater on in one clumsy movement.   
“Well, OK then. I was gonna ask you to go get a drink with me, but if you rather want to sleep, then I’ll just go by myself I guess.” He replied mockingly and started to back away from the door. Harry shut his eyes. What the hell was this? He wanted to go get a drink with him obviously, but he couldn’t. He so absolutely could not, but he wanted to. He wanted to so badly it hurt even thinking he wouldn’t. But he was married, and faked his accent… and his boss and everything was just wrong. But he was so sexy, and Harry was weak, so, so weak.

“Oh fuck it.” He mumbled soundless and opened his eyes.  
“Wait!” he shouted turning around.  
“Wait… let’s have a drink.”


	3. Chapter 3

Harry was walking silently next to Dr. Tomlinson approaching the front door of the hospital. He realized that having this drink was a really bad idea and that he would probably regret it a lot the next day, but he couldn’t care any less.

“Hey, Tomlinson!” someone suddenly shouted and they stopped. Dr. Tomlinson turned around.  
“What do you want, Grimshaw? Need help taking out a chest tube again?” he replied as Harry turned as well and faced an average heighted guy with dark hair and a lab coat. He was wearing dark blue scrubs which signalized that he was an attending. Harry looked down.  
“Dude, that was like… _four_ years ago! Shut up about it already.” He replied.   
“I’ll shut up when you stop talking like a frat boy.” Dr. Tomlinson said and tilted his head. Harry wasn’t sure, but these two seemed to have some unresolved power struggle going on.   
“Anyway, I was gonna ask you to wait up so we could get a drink, but I see that you’re babysitting instead.” Dr. Grimshaw said nodding at Harry.   
“Why don’t you ask Zayn? At least he doesn’t despise you like I do. Goodnight, Nicholas.” Dr. Tomlinson concluded and walk out of the door. Harry smiled quickly at Nicholas or what’s his face and followed.

“What was that about?” he asked as he reached Dr. Tomlinson.  
“He stole my girlfriend once, the love of my life.” He replied.   
“Really?” Harry said. Well, then the whole power struggle thing would make sense at least.   
“No, he’s just an arsehole.” He replied rolling his eyes.   
“Well, the asshole seemed to think you would have a drink with him? So are you friends with him?” Harry continued trying to make a conversation. Dr. Tomlinson stopped walking and turned towards him. His face was unreadable as usual.  
“I don’t think that’s any of your business.” He said and raised an eyebrow. Harry sighed. What was up with this hot and cold thing? Was it considering flirting in England or something? Because he sure as hell wasn’t getting it.   
“I wasn’t tryna intrude or anything, just…” he mumbled looking away.  
“Forget it, let’s get that drink.” Dr. Tomlinson said and resumed walking.

As they entered the bar Harry spotted his new friends by a table in the other end of the room. He tried to walk up to the bar without being noticed as he remember that this was the bar he had been in last night, this was the bar he had ended up meeting Dr. Tomlinson in. He swallowed.   
“I’ll have a gin & tonic.” Dr. Tomlinson said to the bartender walking up next to him.   
“I’ll have a beer.” Harry said and turned towards him. His face was still unreadable as he took a sip of his drink and looked back at him.

“So, how’d you like your first day, Harry?” he said. Harry took a deep breath, tried to not freak as he looked into those very blue eyes.  
“It was fine, ehm, Dr. Tom…” he was interrupted by that angelic laughter he had got to hear that morning.   
“You don’t remember my first name, do you?” he said giggling. Harry had to catch his breath not to fall to the floor, not to scream on top of his lungs. This man was gorgeous, so beautiful, and he was embarrassed as fuck not to remember his name. But he was bad with names, he hardly remember them. He had written the names of his fellow interns down on his hand so he wouldn’t forget them, and he had still managed to call Leigh-Anne Linda twice.   
“No, I don’t…” he replied lowering his voice hoping, praying, that his face wasn’t turning red like usual.

“It’s Louis, and outside of the hospital you’ll get to call me that.” He said still a bit giggly.   
“Louis.” He repeated. “Not Lewis, or Lou. Louis.”  
Harry nodded. Louis, OK, he was going to try to remember that. Louis dragged his fingers through the fringe hanging down in his eyes and Harry spotted the wedding ring. A cold chunky sensation occurred in his stomach. Fuck. He had forgot that for just a few moments, just thought that he actually was allowed to look as at this guy longingly, to think his laugh was angelic, to think he was stunning.

“Harry! I thought you were going home?” Harry turned facing Jade standing next to him at the bar.   
“Oh, yeah… I just changed my mind, didn’t see you guys so I thought you had gone home. I was just grabbing a quick beer, I…” Jade smiled at him and received a tequila shot from the bar.   
“You’re a bad liar. It’s cool though, see you tomorrow.” She said, winked and walked back to the table. He turned back just to catch Louis shaking his head at him.   
“Is that your girlfriend?” he asked taking a sip from his drink.   
“NO!” Harry exclaimed not realizing the volume of his voice.   
“Wow, Jesus, chill out.” Louis replied putting his glass down.   
“I’m gay… and I wouldn’t cheat anyway.” He replied eyeing the wedding ring.   
“Me too.” Louis said sarcastically. Harry blinked a few times and looked away.   
“You wanna get out of here?” Louis said taking the last sip of his drink. Harry took a breath. This was too complicated for him. It wasn’t too long since he had been in a very toxic relationship, and if this continued it wasn’t going to be any better than that.   
“I don’t know. Nothing personal, but I just wanna go home and sleep if that’s OK, sorry.” He replied and smiled tiredly. It was nice to see that he still had some sort of self-control left.   
“That’s fine, I’ll give you a ride.” Louis said and handed the bartender a fifty.   
“Keep the change.” He said and started walking towards the door. Harry followed silently looking quickly over at his friends. He could see Jade and Leigh-Anne’s jaws drop when they spotted who he was leaving with. He tried to ignore it and exited the bar.

“My car should still be parked here somewhere since yesterday…” Louis mumbled and lit up as he apparently spotted it. Harry followed him over to what seemed to be a brand new black Porsche. Well, that wasn’t a family car. Maybe he wasn’t married, maybe he was divorced, or maybe it just was some random ring. He could hope at least.  
“Well, are you gonna get in?” Louis suddenly said and Harry realized he had been standing silently staring at the car for a bit too long.   
“Yeah…” He mumbled and walked over to the passenger side.  Louis got in as well and drove the car off the parking lot.

“So my address is,” Harry began as he was interrupted.   
“I remember where you live.” Louis reassured.

They drove in silence for a bit as Harry tried to find a smooth way to ask him if he really was married, but there was no way to do so. He found his gaze wandering all over him. He had the most beautiful profile he had ever seen. He was basically flawless. He put his own hand on the bruises on his neck as he tried to remember the night before. He had to remember it, because if he was married it could never happen again and then he needed those memories to cling on to. He needed them to not freak out every time he saw him. Suddenly Louis pulled the breaks and the car stopped.   
“For god’s sake…” he mumbled and rolled down the window.   
“LUCAS TOMLINSON!” he screamed out of it. Harry felt an ice-cold sensation crawl up his spine. He tried to see what Louis had seen out of the window, but it was completely dark outside of the car. Suddenly someone came up to the window.

“Dad, what the fuck are you doing here?” the guy snuffled. Harry could smell the alcohol on his breath the whole way through the car. So Louis had a son. He was definitely married. He wanted to hurl.   
“Mind your language and get in the car, Lucas.” Louis said.   
“I’m seventeen dad, you can’t tell me what to do.” He replied and Louis rolled his eyes.  
“Well, you just confirmed the fact that you’re underage and cannot drink, get in!” he yelled.  
“Fine, I’ll get my stuff.” Louis’ son mumbled and walked away.

Harry caught his breath and leaned back in the seat. Louis turned towards him, his face in its usual unreadable state.   
“You have a son.” He whispered, tried to gather himself.   
“Was that a question?” Louis replied gripping the gearstick with his right hand.   
“You’re married, aren’t you? I’ve seen your ring, I just…” Harry continued looking away.  
“Yes I am, but it’s not what it looks like, I swear.” Louis replied as the left backdoor went open and Louis’ son got in.   
“So, Lucas, how much did you drink this time?” he said turning away from Harry.   
“I don’t know dad, why don’t you ask your boy toy over there.” Lucas spit from the infinitesimal backseat of the Porsche.  
“What did I say about that language? This is my student! Do you wanna walk home?” Louis shouted back.  
“Actually, yeah! I don’t wanna go home you doucheface! And you’re not a teacher, you’re a fucking brain slaughter so shut the hell up!” he shouted back. Louis put his hands on his face and leaned forward resting it on the steering wheel. Harry wanted to say something, but he figured the smartest thing was to mind his own business. But he couldn’t sit there and listen to this kid talk to him like that.

“Well actually, I’m an intern and your dad is an attending, so technically he is my teacher. I’m Harry by the way.” He said smiling tentatively reaching his hand out. The kid took his hand rolling his eyes and shook it half-heartedly.   
“I’m Luke.” He replied. Harry kept smiling as Louis started the engine and the car rolled forwards.

“So daddy dearest, what the fuck is your ‘student’ doing in your car anyway?” Luke said after a few minutes of driving in silence.   
“Shut up, Lucas.” Louis mumbled through his teeth. Harry had his gaze placed on the road in front of them. He was still trying to gather himself. This was too much, he wasn’t going to get involved in this, no, and he couldn’t. All of a sudden the car was pulled up in a drive way and Louis commanded Luke to get out. They just sat there for a while watching him stumble up the stairs and inside.   
“You don’t have to drive me home, I can call a cab.” Harry whispered and was about to pull out his phone.  
“I don’t mind. I don’t live here anyway, not really.” Louis replied and pulled the car back on the road. Harry tried not to think too much about what he had just said and leaned back.   
“So you don’t live with your husband?” Harry asked as he gave up on not thinking about it realizing he was still weak as fuck.   
“I don’t have a husband, Harry.” He said increasing the speed of the car. Well, this was just confusing.   
“But you said you were married?” he asked confusedly. Louis looked at him for a few seconds before turning back at the road.   
“I have a wife, her name is Perrie and she is cheating on me with my best friend. Mind minding your own business now, eh?” Louis shot and made a turn up the side road to Harry’s place.   
“I’m sorry…” he stuttered and looked away.   
“It’s fine, you had a right to ask… considering we, you know.” Louis replied and stopped the car in the driveway.

Harry gripped the door-handle. He was going to get out of this car and walk away. That was what he was gonna do. But he looked so sad, and abandoned. And his kid was a rude little fuck, and his wife was a cheater… and he was gorgeous and godlike and Harry was – as established – a weak little shit. He took a deep breath and turned around looking into those very blue eyes and almost forgot his own name.   
“Goodbye then… Dr. Tomlinson.” He whispered still staring at him. God, he had to get out now. He couldn’t do this, he was a reasonable human being.   
“… if you don’t wanna come in with me I mean.” He heard himself continue. Fuck, he wasn’t supposed to say that, he really wasn’t. What was wrong with him?

“No, I’m good, thanks.” Louis replied gripping the gearstick again.   
“Goodnight, Harry. Get some sleep.”


	4. Chapter 4

Harry yawned walking out of the locker-room next to his fellow interns the next morning. He could hear Leigh-Anne and Jade whisper about him leaving with Louis behind him. He hadn’t planned to address that really, just hoped it would slide, but it now looked like he had to come up with some lame excuse… which they wouldn’t believe anyway, because Jade had already exposed him as a terrible liar, so there was that.

“Late night, Styles?” Dr. Nelson asked rhetorically as they reached her.   
“No, I just haven’t had my coffee yet…” he mumbled and looked away.   
“Whatever.” She replied looking down at the paper sheet in her hand. Harry wasn’t sure what it was exactly, but she just came off as very intimidating… and a bit grumpy.   
“OK, Clifford, Horan and Thirlwall, you’re gonna be working in the pit.” She said and looked up tiredly gazing over them before stopping and piercing her gaze into Michael.  
“No, you know what. Clifford, you pissed me off yesterday, you can run labs today. And since you were so great at rectal exams yesterday, Mr. Rogers in 2234 and Mr. Adamson in 2156 need one, so you can do that as well.” She said. Michael swallowed loudly and nodded.   
“What did you do?” Harry whispered in his ear.   
“I might have grabbed her ass…” he replied smiling fearfully at her. Harry wanted to chuckle, but he didn’t. To be fear, yes – Niall had been right – that was a great ass, even as a gay man who had never ever touched (or even remotely wanted to) a woman, he could say that. But as he would prefer not joining him in performing those rectal exams, he was going to shut the hell up and try not to piss her off.   
“Styles and Pinnock, you’re gonna spend the day with Dr. Edwards in peds.” Dr. Nelson continued. Harry looked over at Leigh and she smiled back. He was so gonna get asked about the night before. He searched through his scrambled brain for some brilliant explanation, but there was none really. He sighed silently and looked down.  
“Off you go!” Dr. Nelson shouted when no one seemed to move.

 

“So, what where you doing with the neuro-god yesterday?” Leigh asked as they walked over to the elevator to get to the peds floor. Harry wanted to sigh again, but he didn’t. He was just gonna have to come up with something random.   
“Nothing, he was just buying me a beer because our surgery was a success, he said it was a British thing or whatever…” he mumbled looking away to avoid her calling his bluff.   
“Yeah, sure.” Leigh replied and hit the elevator button.   
“So you have the hots for him or? I sure do.” She continued as the elevator doors slid apart and they walked inside. Fuck. OK, he had to stay calm now. She couldn’t know, no-one could know. It wasn’t only his ass which was on the line here, it was Louis’ ass as well… and he was so not going to be that horny, slutty intern whom got the head of neuro fired. No fucking way.

“Ehh, I mean… he’s good looking for sure, I just…” he stuttered and looked away. Wow, he was really great at this, _really._  
“Man, your face is redder than a puddle of blood, just admit it!” she said and the elevator started going upwards. He just shook his head and she giggled. As he tried to focus on something else, forgotten memories of his night with Louis popped randomly up in his head.   
“Fuck.” He spit through his teeth hoping Leigh wouldn’t hear it. This really could not happen, this was inappropriate. But damn, how could he have forgotten being thrown against the wall like _that_?

The doors slid apart again and they walked out to meet the bubbly blonde Harry had seen with Louis the day before. He took a deep breath and tried to remove any remaining thoughts about being fucked by that Greek neuro-god out of his head.  
“Hey guys! I’m Dr. Edwards! Welcome to pediatrics!” the blonde chanted and shook their hands. Harry smiled at her and Leigh received the patient-chart from her. As they walked over to start the rounds Harry couldn’t help but notice the bump under her scrubs. She kept stroking it with her right hand as they walked. She turned her head and smiled at him as she noticed him staring.   
“Yes, I’m pregnant, entering the third trimester today.” She said still smiling. He nodded.  
“Congratulations I guess.” He said and smiled back wondering how someone could have the time to have a baby and be a surgeon all at once.   
“Thank you, Dr. Styles.” Well, at least one attending seemed to give him the respect he thought he deserved. Not that he disliked being disrespected by Louis, at least not in the way he finally was remembering.

They entered a patient room and greeted the parents of the girl in the bed. He smiled at them and once again had to clear his head. God, there was a sick child in the bed in front of him, and there he went thinking about sex.   
“Dr. Pinnock, wanna present?” Dr. Edwards asked. Leigh nodded and stepped forward.   
“Melanie Clark, eight, was admitted for respiratory distress, turned out to be pulmonary carcinoma, tumor was successfully dissected by Dr. Grimshaw, whom is gonna go back inside today to remove a met on the heart sac. Overnight labs are satisfying.” Leigh-Anne concluded and smiled.   
“Thank you, Dr. Pinnock.” Dr. Edwards said and smiled at her. The parents stood by the bedside and gazed over the doctors in front of them.   
“Will she be OK, Perrie?” the mother asked and Harry froze choking on his own tongue. Perrie? Could that be a coincidence? Probably not. He had seen her with Louis, of course this was his wife. But why Edwards? Why not Tomlinson? He looked over at her hand. A big diamond rock stared back at him. He wanted to hurl. He had been fantasizing about boning this woman’s husband right in front of her… right in front of her pregnant belly.   
“Dr. Grimshaw and I will do everything in our power to make sure she will.” Dr. Edwards assured and smiled at the parents.

“Why don’t we go and look at some paper work while Dr. Styles and Dr. Pinnock here prep your daughter for surgery?” she continued and directed the parents out of the room.   
“What was that about?” Leigh asked when Dr. Edwards had left.  
“Nothing… I, ehm…” the girl in the bed stared at them with big, curious eyes.   
“I’m gonna go and get an IV set in the supply closet, excuse me…” he stuttered and walked fast out of the room and over to the supply closet.

He took a deep breath and tried not to throw up. So Louis’ supposedly cheating wife was pregnant, and adorable, and nice, and also his boss. He wanted to choke and die. He walked over to where he thought the IV set would be as he heard a weird sound. He turned and almost had a heart attack. There was Louis, staring at the upper shelves with whatever kind of medical supplies was lying there. Because he was a weak fuck he seemed to suddenly forget the way he had just felt and rather let his gaze wander down to Louis’ behind. He wanted to slap himself. Did he really have no self-control whatsoever?  
“Hi…” Harry mumbled and walked over to him. He turned; looking at him for a few seconds before he turned back and resumed staring at the shelf.   
“I’m working with your wife today… she’s nice.” He said trying to justify his sudden mood change.   
“I know.” He replied turning back, piercing him with the blue gaze. After a few seconds of intense staring, Louis gripped his neck and kissed him violently.

Harry was really caught off guard. It was not like he didn’t like it, or didn’t want to make out with him, but what was going on? His wife was pregnant, and he wasn’t really sure if he believed that she was cheating, which meant that could be another one of Louis’ children, and this was just wrong. He wanted to push him away, but hell like he could. He was about to pull back, if not to run away at least to catch his breath, but he was a weak shithead and Louis’ tongue against his felt a little better than it should. Louis leaned back for a quarter of a second and continued down on his neck. Harry wanted to say something, but he couldn’t. This was too good. He felt the halfway healed hickeys get re-created and he pushed Louis up against the shelf. Louis stopped and kissed him again, pulling him towards his chest. He felt his nails digging into his back. Damn, this was… a little too much considering the door was unlocked and this man’s wife was a few feet away in a different room with a sick eight year old’s parents, but what the heck.

Suddenly Louis stopped and pushed him lightly back. He cleared his throat and turned back looking at the shelf. He reached upwards toward the top shelf, but he couldn’t reach it. Harry leaned back trying to think straight, but he had some trouble.

“You need help?” Harry asked when he had gathered himself, trying not to re-live what had just happened in his head.   
“No, I don’t.” he replied reaching so much his scrubs were parting and Harry could see the bare skin on his back. Damn, he really wanted to kiss him right there… maybe, _fuck._  
“You sure?” he said swallowing and trying to move his gaze upwards. Louis got down on his feet and turned around rolling his eyes.  
“Fine, get it for me.” Harry shook his head moving his gaze to his face. He gripped the thing he had been reaching for and handed it to him.   
“And I’m not short, I’m 5’9.” Louis said backing towards the door. Harry grinned.   
“Yeah, OK, if you say so.” He said as Louis rolled his eyes again and exited the room.   
He stood there for a while just trying to stop grinning like a lovestruck idiot. When he finally had managed to make his face look normal, he walked over to the IV sets, grabbed one and left the supply closet.

“How long does it take to find an IV set?” Leigh said as Harry returned to the patient room.   
“I got lost…” he mumbled and handed it to her.   
“Your neck tells me otherwise.” She replied smirking. He put his hand embarrassedly to his neck and walked over to take the patient’s blood pressure. He really had to come up with an excuse right freaking now.

 

…

 

Harry finished scrubbing next to Leigh-Anne as the slide door to the scrub-room went open.   
“Good morning, kids!” Dr. Grimshaw exclaimed as he entered and turned on the faucet. Leigh rolled her eyes and walked into the OR. Harry smiled politely and was about to follow when he spoke.   
“He’s married you know.” Dr. Grimshaw said.   
“What?” Harry replied facing him trying not to freak or freeze… or die. Dr. Grimshaw stopped scrubbing and looked at him.   
“Louis is married to Perrie Edwards, your attending. And trust me, kid, you don’t wanna get in the middle of that whole thing.” He continued. Harry tried to act cool, tried to forget that he had made out with Louis thirty minutes ago in a supply closet.   
“I’m sorry Dr. Grimshaw; I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He mumbled and looked away, ready to flee into the operating room at any given time.   
“If you say so… and you can call me Nick by the way, Dr. Grimshaw is so formal, I don’t like it.” He concluded and winked at him. Harry nodded and backed into the OR trying not to look too weird.

He took a deep breath walking over to the sedated, eight year old girl on the table and tried reminding himself of not repeating the lack of intelligence he had sported the day before… or not to get sex-flashbacks in the middle of surgery. 


	5. Chapter 5

“That was so awesome!” Leigh shouted as they were walking from the OR-floor to the cafeteria.   
“We sliced a girl’s chest open, fixed her heart and now she’s gonna live. It’s freaking amazing!” she shouted even louder and nearly danced as she walked next to him.   
“Well, technically we didn’t do anything, Dr. Edwards and Dr. Grimshaw,”  
“Shut up, no one cares, OK? It was AWESOME!!” she repeated and ran into the cafeteria shouting at Jade about how “awesome” it was.   
“Cool surgery, eh?” Niall asked as he walked up next to him with a tray filled with all sorts of food. Harry smiled and nodded as they walked over to the counter and he paid for a baguette and a soda.   
“Sure, it was fine.” He said. Niall shook his head and directed him over to a table were Michael was sitting with his fries.   
“You’re not so enthusiastic about it all, are you?” Niall said showing a pizza slice into his mouth the second he sat down. Harry put his tray down and sat down carefully.   
“Hey, where did you get the pizza?” Michael shouted and took Niall’s other slice. Niall just shrugged and reached for Michael’s fries.   
“These where the last ones, mate.” He replied. Harry took a bit of his baguette as Jade and Leigh sat down.

“What happened to your neck?” Jade asked pointing at him when Leigh finally shut up about the “awesomeness”.   
“Oh, he woke up next to someone and totally blacked out, right mate?” Niall laughed with his mouth filled with pizza. Harry nodded trying not to make eye contact.   
“Not that, the fresh ones I mean. Like seriously, who did that? I haven’t had those since high school.” Jade said.   
“I’ll give ‘em to you.” Michael said smirking and she threw a fry at him.   
“He got them earlier today when he went to get an IV set, just sayin’.” Leigh said. Harry nearly choked on his baguette and looked down. Damn it. Now he had to say something.   
“Seriously? This is our second day, and you’ve already got a boyfriend here? Damn.” Jade continued. Well, he hadn’t exactly got a boyfriend, more like a “married one night stand plus a make out session in the supply closet-friend”, that he wasn’t even sure was gay… not that it seemed to matter.   
“No…no. I tripped, it’s a bruise.” He mumbled still avoiding eye contact.  
“Sure, and I’m Beyoncé.” Leigh replied rolling her eyes.   
“Dude, we’re all doctors, and that’s not a regular bruise, just spill it already.” Michael said. Harry looked away, again searching his brain for some half-way decent lie. There still was none.  
“Hey guys, maybe he doesn’t wanna talk about it, eh?” Niall suddenly said and patted him on the back.   
“Cool, whatever.” Michael replied chewing on the stolen pizza slice. Harry smiled at Niall and mouthed “thank you”. He was probably going to demand an explanation later, but at least he got some more time to figure out what to say.

“So, how hot is that neuro guy?” Jade mumbled after a few moments of eating in silence. Harry tried not to react, or make a face… or scream.   
“I mean really… he is like… I don’t know, dreamy, like a dream.” Leigh replied taking a sip of her soda.   
“Oh my god! McDreamy, he is McDreamy.” Jade said smashing her palms together doing some weird dance. Leigh tilted her head towards her and they just stared at each other with silly grins on their faces.   
“Dude, Leighade’s gone made.” Michael sneered and Niall joined.   
“… and McDreamy sounds like something out of the menu at McDonald’s.” he continued rolling his eyes.   
“But come on, Mikey, admit he is dreamy and wonderful, and sexy and… damn.” Jade stopped herself and starred weirdly out in the air. Harry turned his head just to see Louis walk into the room. He swallowed loudly and turned back trying not to look at Jade fonding like a lovestruck high schooler.   
“Damn, look at him thanking the cafeteria lady by calling her love, and flashing that smile and grabbing his tea… so British…” Leigh said and joined Jade in looking ridiculously out in the air.   
“Dude, he’s not that hot, or dreamy or whatever. He’s like average looking, and short. Are you blind or whatever?” Michael said rolling his eyes and stealing a meatball from Niall’s gigantic plate.  
“Shut up.” Leigh replied and continued staring at Louis.   
“Hey, even I – Niall James Horan – the straightest guy in the room, can admit that he is very attractive, McDreamy. No homo.” Niall shot stealing a fry from Michael in return.   
“Did you really just say ‘no homo’”? Leigh said breaking out of her trans.   
“He did.” Harry mumbled, trying to participate not to look guilty… or like a total moron.

“He is not, Neal. He’s not…” Michael continued still chewing.  
“… oh! He is!” he nearly shouted as another person entered the room. Harry turned around as the Arab-looking guy he had seen with Louis and Perrie walked in.   
“Ooh, McSteamy.” Leigh said eyeing Jade.   
“Yeah.” She replied and the creepy staring resumed.

The Arab walked over to Louis and Harry could see him talking, before Louis brushed him off and spit something he couldn’t make out. Louis then walked away and slammed the doors open as he left.   
He didn’t want to say it… or think it… but that had to be the best friend. The best friend Perrie allegedly was cheating with. He had assumed it would be Nick Grimshaw, mainly because of the comment Louis had made about their friendship… or non-friendship or whatever, but now he wasn’t so sure.

“Well, McSteamy and McDreamy ain’t McFriends.” Michael said laughing.   
“Shut up, McSleazy.” Leigh said rolling her eyes at him.   
“No, he’s McGreasy.” Jade replied and giggled.   
“What?” Michael said shoving his tray forwards so it hit Niall’s.   
“Your hair, it’s greasy as fuck.” Leigh said. Michael leaned back looking offended.  
“Dude, if I wash it every day the color comes out, are you stupid?” he replied rolling his eyes at her. Leigh just shook her head.   
“I guess that would be for the best.” Jade said still a bit giggly. Harry put down his baguette and gazed at Michael’s blue hair.   
“To be fair, Jade’s right. It’s… very…” he swallowed looking down.   
“… blue.” He concluded. Michael groaned in response and threw a lettuce-piece at him.   
“And yours is fucking messy, but I ain’t seen anybody complaining about that, so shut the fuck up.” Michael added and leaned back chewing on the last fry. Leigh and Jade just looked at each other shaking their heads. Harry was about to say something as his pager went off. He pulled it out of his pocket.   
“Oh my god, I got paged 911 to Melanie Clark’s room.” He shot and got up knocking over his soda.   
“Me too.” Leigh replied and got up as well.   
“What? The little kid?” Niall asked as the both of them started rushing out of the cafeteria.   
“Yes!” Leigh shouted as Harry pushed the doors open and ran for the elevators.

 

…

 

When Harry reached Melanie Clark’s room three nurses were all over her.  
“What happened?” Harry stuttered as Leigh entered the room.  
“Patient went into respiratory distress, there is no pulse. We’ve paged Dr. Edwards and Dr. Grimshaw.” One of the nurses exclaimed.  
“Okay… ehm, let’s call code blue.” He replied and the nurse hit the bottom over the bed and an alarm went off. After a few seconds a crash cart was rushed through the doors and the nurses lifted the girl putting a plate underneath her.   
“Push one of epi!” Leigh shouted and the nurse handed the paddles to Harry.   
“You wanna charge, doctor?” one of them asked. He swallowed. He wasn’t ready for this; he didn’t wanna run the code. This was his second day, and the patient was an eight year old girl. He swallowed again and looked helplessly over at Leigh-Anne. She was too busy commanding the nurses to look back, so he took a deep breath and stepped forward.

“Okay, charge to 200!” he said as firm as he could and placed the paddles on Melanie’s chest.   
“Charging to 200.” The nurse replied.  
“Clear!” he shouted as he shocked the patient.  
“No change!” Leigh said and he had to take another deep breath. If this girl died… he would never forgive himself.   
“Charge to 300!” he said. “Clear.”  
“Still no change.” Leigh said. Damn.   
“How long has she been under?” he asked the nurse as he looked helplessly up at the flat-lined monitor.  
“Three minutes, doctor.” She replied. He bit his lip trying to figure out what to do.   
“Let’s push another epi! And page Dr. Edwards again, please!” he shouted and turned to Leigh. She stood expressionless beside him biting into her left thumb.  
“Okay, charge again! Clear!” There was still no change. He could feel the tears gather in the corners of his eyes.

Suddenly the door burst open and Perrie came rushing in.  
“What happened?” she shouted and ran over to the bedside.   
“She coded, we’ve charged her three times.” Leigh replied looking at Harry.   
“Okay.” Perrie said and leaned over checking the pupils.  
“The pupils are blown, she might’ve had a stroke. Page neuro and charge again.” She commanded.  
“Clear.” Harry said and Melanie got shocked all over again.  
“We have sinus rhythm!” one of the nurses exclaimed. Harry let all the air he had gathered in his lungs out.  
“Good job, Styles. You too, Pinnock.” Perrie said as Louis came through the door.   
“You paged?” he asked with his gaze wandering over the people before him.   
“She coded, pupils are blown.” Perrie said and Louis stepped forward giving Harry a look he couldn’t decode.   
“Let’s get an emergency MRI.” He said again eyeing Harry.   
“You, go order that, please.” He said pointing at Leigh-Anne. She nodded and walked out.   
“I’ll go with her…” Harry mumbled and followed, not wanting to stay in the room with his very attractive one night stand, his wife and three nurses treating a possible dying little girl.

 

His breath was heavy as he walked with Leigh-Anne over to the nurse’s station where she ordered the MRI. He walked over to the wall and leaned back.   
“Hey! It’s OK! You did well!” Leigh said when she came over to him. He looked at her and smiled for a millisecond.   
“I know… I just… I’m very confused, and this made it all worse.” He mumbled and took another breath. She patted her hand on his shoulder and leaned back next to him.   
“If you want to, you can talk to me, I can keep a secret.” She said. He really wanted to tell her – or someone – about him and Louis, but he couldn’t. He didn’t know any of these people, and Louis was married… he couldn’t be the one to fuck that up, he just couldn’t. He had a son for god’s sake.   
“Thanks.” He just mumbled and smiled at her hoping she wouldn’t ask. 


	6. Chapter 6

“Ten blade.” Louis said firmly. Harry swallowed standing next to him holding the suction equipment. Dr. Grimshaw… or Nick as he seemed to prefer, was already working on the heart as the stiches had ripped and he had to re-do them.   
“See, Tomlinson, we can actually work simultaneously. It’s almost like the good old days.” He smirked shaking his head with his hands inside Melanie’s chest.  
“I’m working, Grimshaw. Please shut your mouth.” Louis mumbled.

Leigh-Anne was standing on the opposite side of Nick holding the retractor rolling her eyes at the so-called “banter” that had been going on in the room for a while.   
“God… Perrie, what the hell did you do to this girl?” Louis sad shaking his head at the bleeding in the brain.  
“Excuse me?” she said from where she stood with her arms crossed behind Leigh.   
“How did you miss this? This must have been bleeding for hours.” Louis continued.  
“Suction.” He said giving Harry a quick look.   
“My work is now flawless as always, I’m never letting an intern do a stitch ever again.” Nick said with his gaze plastered at Leigh-Anne. She looked down sighing.  
“Oh, light up, doll. I’ll teach you… someday.” He continued and handed the scalpel and clamp over to the scrub nurse.   
“Page me if you need me, I have a valve replacement in OR two shortly.” He concluded and walked out tossing his glows in the trashcan by the door.

“Well, the bleeding is contained, but I don’t know if she’ll wake up, there was too much damage.” Louis said after a while. He put the scalpel down and stepped back.  
“Close for me, Patricia.” He said looking over at the nurse and walked out. Harry stepped back putting the suction down. Perrie nodded at them and followed Louis. Harry could see them argue through the window. She screamed and gesticulated wildly at him, but he seemed to just add a snarky comment and rolled his eyes. Harry wondered why… why they were still together if all of it was true. Both of them seemed to be cheating… their son didn’t seem to take it all too well, which made him think they possible argued a lot in front of him. And then there was that comment Louis had made… “I don’t really live here anyway.”. What had that been about? Maybe it was just his lovestruck brain trying to make up an excuse to still drool over him, but they didn’t seemed too loved up.

He backed away from the operating table and walked into the scrub room.  
“Are you really that ignorant or are you just a bastard?!” Perrie shouted tossing her mask into the trash.   
“Oh, I don’t know, love. Maybe I’m just tired of your crap, all bloody day.” Louis replied sarcastically and stopped scrubbing. Harry walked silently over to the sink and started scrubbing. Perrie gave him a polite smile and did the same.   
“Louis, you need to change… we’re having a baby, you need to change!” she said turning on the faucet.   
“Are you sure about that?” he replied wiping his hands on a paper towel.   
“We’re not discussing that again, it was nothing, he was drunk, it’ll never happen again. This is your child, you’re the only person that could be the father of this baby, do you understand that or have you lost too many brain cells while drinking vodka straight out of the bottle?” Perrie said tilting her head towards him.   
“Oh, for god’s sake, Perrie. Can’t you see the intern behind you? Do you really need to talk about stuff like that in front of him? Just shut up already.” Louis said and stormed out of the room.  
“This conversation is not finished!” she shouted after him as Leigh-Anne entered the scrub room.  
“I’m sorry about that, my husband’s an ass.” She said turning to Harry.  
“It’s OK.” He replied trying not to think about all he had just heard.

Louis’ baby… straight vodka… “it was nothing”. He wanted to hurl. Dr. Grimshaw had been right… so right, he did not want to get in the middle of all of this, absolutely not. He backed quickly away, grabbed a paper towel and nearly ran out of the room. This was a bit too much.

 

…

 

“She’s in a coma, probably not gonna wake up. It sucks.” Leigh said for the fourth time. Niall nodded and hugged her. Harry thought he could see tears gathering in his eyes, but he wasn’t sure. Obviously, the whole thing was very sad, but he just wasn’t up for thinking too much about it. He had his own personal drama. Not that his drama was anything like the drama of Melanie Clark’s parents, but still. He backed slowly away from Leigh-Anne and Niall and walked over to the vending machine down the hall. He hadn’t eaten since lunch, but a bag of chips was all he could stomach at the moment. He put the $1 bill into the machine and hit the button for the chips. It was about to drop when it got stuck. He groaned. Of course that had to happen. _Of fucking course_. He was about to just leave when he suddenly could feel a warm breath in his neck.  
“Need any help, love?” he turned facing Louis piercing him with the blue gaze.  
“Ehm, it’s… stuck.” He mumbled. So this was going to be that idiotic cliché. Chips get stuck in vending machine, beautiful boy – love interest of the protagonist – comes along to save the day, and he just happens to know exactly how to punch the machine so the chips will drop and everyone lives happily ever after. That alone made him want to gag, but looking into those eyes had the opposite effect, so it was neutralized, sort of.  
“I see.” Louis replied walking past him. He got down on his knees and crawled over to the back of the machine.  
“Ehm, what are you doing?” Harry asked trying not to look at where his scrubs were parting.   
“If you take out the electric socket and put it back in, it usually resets and drops the bag… well, in my experience at least.” He mumbled as he pulled it out and put it back in. Louis got up and the chips magically dropped.   
“Thanks, I guess.” Harry replied picking up his chips. Louis just smiled at him.  
“Do you want some?” Harry asked. He shook his head still smiling.   
“No thanks.” He mumbled biting his lip. Harry tried to gather himself. Damn, why did he do that? He was evil, pure evil. He tried reminding himself of what he had heard in the scrub room. This man was allegedly damaged - to not mention married - goods. He didn’t want that, did he? He had already had damaged, it was too much… why couldn’t he just find something easy… and fun?

Suddenly he could feel Louis’ hand on his, the blue gaze piercing him as he tried to breath.   
“Come with me to the on call-room.” He nearly whispered. Harry swallowed.  
“Ehm… I-I… I can’t.” he stuttered. That was right, he couldn’t. He couldn’t do this, of course he wanted to, but he just couldn’t. It was too complicated, too messy.   
“Harry…” Louis sighed letting go of his hand.  
“Is it because of what Perrie said earlier? Because… that is…” he stopped himself and looked away.   
“It’s not what it looks like, I swear.” He continued looking up at him. Harry had to focus every single atom in his body not to just say “OK” and come with him. He had managed to regain a tiny amount of self-control, and he was going to use it. This was for his own good, for Louis’ good, and Perrie’s and Luke’s… and that unborn baby.

“It usually is.” He whispered letting go of his gaze.  
“No, I swear.” Louis replied.   
“Then why can’t you just tell me?” Harry said.  
“Because I don’t know you, it’s none of your business… and I’m your superior.” Louis looked away again. He checked his pager and fiddled with it in what seemed like an excuse to just stand there.   
“Yeah, you have a point… this whole thing is just…” Harry took a deep breath. Was he about to break this off? Could he do that? Probably not. Anyway, how do you break off something you don’t even know what is? He sighed. No, he couldn’t, he was too pathetic.

“I’d love to go to the on call-room.” He whispered. Louis looked up and met his gaze.  
“OK, follow me then… but keep your distance. We don’t want anyone to question what’s going on.” He replied and started walking down the hallway.

Fuck, he wasn’t gonna say that. Damn, so much for that alleged self-control. Harry walked after him ignoring the sudden urge to slap himself in the face. Louis walked into a room and Harry followed closing the door behind him.  
“Lock it.” Louis commanded.  
“OK.” He stuttered and turned around. Fuck… fuck… fuck. He took a breath slowly turning the lock. This was such a bad idea. He turned back meeting his gaze. Louis had already taken his shirt off revealing a chest tattoo Harry had seemed to forget. It was sexy, so sexy… and his abs, fuck. He was so hot; Harry seemed to forget everything about how bad of an idea this was.

“It is what it is.” He mumbled reading the tattoo, slowly dragging his fingers over it.   
“But it is, either your supposed to save that life, or you’re not… if you can’t then that was how it was supposed to go, it is what it is.” Louis replied grabbing his finger.   
“I hope that’s not what you tell the family of the people you can’t save.” He mumbled looking him in the eyes.   
“Not a word about this to anyone, I’m still your boss; I can have you fired just by snapping my fingers.” Harry nodded dragging his own shirt over his head and leaned in, took in the smell of his hair, his neck. He smelled like everything he’d ever wanted, but nothing he could ever have. He tilted his head up and pressed his lips against his. They were warm and soft against his. Louis placed his hands on his neck and pulled him closer, moved them up in his hair dragging him down. Harry let his hands slide down his back and under the waistband of his scrubs. Louis leaned back for a second, moving his jaded glance up, stopping at his eyes.  
“Let’s go over to the bed.” He whispered and dragged him with him over to the bed. He lied down and pulled him on top of him. Harry swallowed. This was… this was great, this was perfect. He kissed him again and let his hand travel back to the waistband undoing the knot. As it finally came undone, he pulled it down and off. Louis had already kicked off his shoes, so Harry did the same dragging his hands up the sides of his thighs, feeling the muscle clench underneath his fingers. Louis wrapped his leg around his waist, pulling him closer. Harry dragged his hands up his chest, feeling the heat from him tingling in his fingertips. He kissed him again, moving his hands up in his hair. Louis grabbed him and rolled around leaving himself on top. Harry let him bend his arms backwards, kissing him even more passionately. Harry took his hands in his intertwining their fingers.   
“You’re hot.” Louis whispered letting go of his hands as he grabbed his trousers and dragged them right off. Harry was too caught up in it all to answer, so he just pulled him closer biting his lip. He could feel him pulling at his boxer briefs as someone tried to open the door and knocked harshly. Louis rolled his eyes and put his hands to the mattress pushing his upper body upwards.

“Why the hell is this door locked?! I need to sleep, open the damn door!” Dr. Nelson’s voice shouted from the other side of the door.   
“It’s occupied!” Louis shouted back and looked down at him. Harry swallowed. Fuck. This had to be a sign. This was not supposed to happen, that was his resident on the other side of that door. He should just push Louis off of him and lay down in another bed pretending to be asleep.   
“Well, there is more than one bunk in there. Open the damn door, Tomlinson!” she replied and banged on the door.   
“I can’t exactly do that, Jessica. Just go somewhere else.” Louis continued grinning as he leaned down again and kissed Harry’s neck. Fuck, no, stop. Was he insane? He couldn’t do this with Dr. Nelson about two feet away.   
“OK, Louis. I was going easy on you because you’re my boss, and I don’t want to know about your personal crap – BUT, I just saw your wife down the hall, so if you’re not playing with yourself – which I don’t want to picture in any way – I don’t know what the hell you’re doing in there that would require a locked door, so unless you want me to go get Perrie – my friend – you should open the fucking door!” she shouted and kicked at the door. Louis rolled his eyes and got off of Harry and walked over to the door. He put his hand on the lock and unlocked it in one swift movement. He opened it slightly and stuck his head out.   
“I said it was occupied, was that hard to understand?” he said. Harry tried to gather himself enough to flee, but unfortunately he had a perfect view for staring at Louis’ very fine ass, and it messed with his head.   
“Truthfully, who the hell is in there?” Dr. Nelson replied.   
“No-one, now go away, find somewhere else to sleep.” Louis said shifting his feet. Harry looked away and swallowed. Damn, this was bad… so bad.   
“I’ll let this slide for now, but if I found out that it was one of my interns in there, you and they will pay, just so you know.” Dr. Nelson concluded and Harry could hear her walking away. Louis closed and locked the door before he came back to the bed. Harry let out a relieved sigh and was about to get up as Louis pushed him back down.   
“Didn’t you hear what she said?” Harry said trying to get up, but Louis held him down.   
“You aren’t afraid of Jesy, are you? I’m not.” He replied leaning in about to kiss him. Harry pulled back.   
“I am, she’s intimidating, OK?” he said. Louis rolled his eyes.   
“And I’m not?” he replied looking at him with an unreadable expression. Harry swallowed.   
“You are, but…” he stopped himself as his glare wandered down Louis’ body. Who the hell was he kidding? He was unable to deny what was in front of him.   
“Just… I… this is – a, ehm, very bad idea.” He whispered as Louis leaned in again.   
“I don’t care.” He replied as he kissed him and pushed him back down into the mattress.   
“I don’t give a fuck, to be honest.” He continued breathily as he got on top of him and again grabbed his boxer briefs.   
“I’m gonna fuck you right into this mattress right now, I don’t care what anyone thinks about it or what anyone’s gonna do about it, OK?” he said pulling them off tossing them to the floor. Harry nodded staring into his eyes.   
“OK.” He whispered. Louis smirked and again pressed his lips against his. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long! I kind of got tired of this story, so I took a break. This however I've had saved since I posted the last chapter, so when I read through now I got the excitement back. The next chapter is in the works.

Harry woke in a daze caught in a tight embrace. He opened his eyes lightly just to discover that the room was completely dark. A calm, warm breath tickled him in the back of his neck. He was about to go back to sleep as he remembered where he was. A rush of adrenaline flushed through his body. Oh god, how long had he been asleep? He tried to reach for his phone that had been in the pocket of his scrubs to check the time, but Louis held him too tight for him to move any further.   
“Fuck…” he mumbled soundlessly, trying to remember what time it had been when he had gone to get that damn bag of chips. He managed to grip his pager on the nightstand. No new pages. At least Dr. Nelson wasn’t going to flay him for not answering a page… not that she didn’t have any other reasons. He was about to try turning around as he felt Louis’ hand travel down his thigh.   
“You awake?” he whispered groggily into his ear. He took a deep breath and grabbed his hand lifting it from his thigh and intertwining their fingers.   
“Yes…” he replied and flipped around facing him. He let go of his hand so it was placed on his hip and put his own on his cheek. Louis smiled and kissed him softly. Harry tried to just stay in the dazed state, but as he lied their staring into those blue eyes he started feeling guilty. He couldn’t do this, he wasn’t his, he belonged to someone else. He had to get himself together and stop acting like a lovestruck thirteen year old right away. All of a sudden Louis put his leg around him and pulled him closer if that was even possible. He put his nose to his and closed his eyes. Harry had to catch his breath. That had been adorable… and sweet… and what the hell was happening?! He moved his hand from Louis’ cheek and put it on his own face. He pulled a few inches back trying to think straight. Louis’ eyes shut open and he looked a bit confused.   
“Something wrong?” he whispered still a bit groggily. Harry swallowed.   
“No… I mean yes, I...” he closed his mouth trying to find the words to describe all the ways this was wrong, but they were nowhere to be found.   
“Don’t get me wrong… this is amazing… and I like you, but it just…” he began.  
“Feels wrong?” Louis concluded seeming to become more awake. Harry sighed. Yes, it did, but he didn’t want to say it because it also felt so right.   
“You’re my boss, you’re married… I…” he mumbled.  
“Let me worry about the boss part, and if you knew the story about my marriage you wouldn’t think it was wrong at all. Please, just lay with me, just close your eyes and pretend I’m someone else if that will help, just lay with me.” Louis replied reaching for his neck pulling him back. Harry wanted to stay, but he also wanted to not be a weak bastard. But he was tired, and this felt too good, so he was going to surrender for now.   
“OK. But I won’t pretend you’re someone else.” He said and crawled back into his embrace. He closed his eyes forgetting everything about time, patients and wrong and right.

Harry woke later from his pager going off on the night stand. He shut his eyes wide open and turned clumsily around grabbing it only to discover his wasn’t the only one beeping.   
“Louis, your pager.” He whispered nudging him softly. Louis opened his eyes and reached over him to grab it.   
“Damn it, 911.” He yawned and crawled over him nearly falling to the floor. Harry sat up and looked for his underpants. Louis had already pulled his pants on and was picking his scrubs off of the floor.   
“Have you seen my underwear?” Harry mumbled when he concluded they were nowhere in sight.   
“No, but there’s no time for that, 911, Melanie Clark’s room, come on!” he shouted and nearly ran over to the door unlocking it.   
“But… I can’t not wear underwear…” Harry mumbled a bit hazy. So he wasn’t completely awake yet, and this was all a bit confusing.   
“Harry, as your attending I’m telling you to get your ass in gear! I’m running now and I’m expecting you to no more than fifteen seconds behind me, understood?” Louis said opening the door.   
“OK… I’m coming.” Harry replied as Louis left and closed the door behind him.

Harry took a deep breath and tried not to yawn or scream. He decided to forget the underwear and just pulled the scrubs on and grabbed his pager. As he left the room and tried to clear his head, he decided that he had to sit down in the nearest future and figure what the fuck he was going to do about this whole situation with Louis out. He couldn’t keep going like this, but he also couldn’t not keep going like this. Stupid dilemma. He ran down the hallway reaching the patient room only to discover Louis running the code.   
“Charge to 300!” he shouted with the paddles on her chest. Dr. Edwards and Leigh-Anne stood with the parents on the outside trying to calm them down. Harry stopped in the doorway not knowing if he should participate or not.   
“We have sinus!” a nurse shouted and Louis put away the paddles.   
“How long was she down?” he stuttered and walked into the room.   
“Six minutes.” Louis replied sighing.   
“There is minimal brain activity. She is technically brain dead.” He continued lowering his voice.   
“There is nothing more we can do for her, it’s time to inform the parents. Let’s go!” he said leaving the room walking over to the parents. Harry sighed and closed his eyes following him. Dr. Edwards and Leigh-Anne stepped aside as Louis reached them.

“Hello, I’m Dr. Tomlinson, head of neuro, I operated on your daughter earlier.” He said shaking their hands. They looked petrified and nearly in tears as Harry stopped a few meters away just observing.   
“I’m so sorry, but there’s no significant brain activity. When you daughter stroked her brain was damaged, and when she went into cardiac arrest the oxygen flow to her brain stopped, which only damaged it further.” Louis said with a professional tone as he smiled apologetically.   
“I’m sorry, what does that mean?” the mother asked on the verge of tears. Louis took a deep breath giving Dr. Edwards a look and she nodded in response.   
“It means that your daughter is brain dead. She is not breathing on her own, and she should be taken of all extraordinary measures, she should be taken off life support.” He continued. The tears started streaming down the face of the mother and she cried into the father’s chest.   
“I’m so sorry for your loss.” He concluded.   
“Is… is this the only option, Perrie? Is there no chance she’ll wake up?” the father asked stroking his wife’s hair.   
“Mr. Clark, my husband… I mean Dr. Tomlinson, is right.” Dr. Edwards replied grabbing Louis’ hand and leaned into him. Louis just stood stiffly not returning the gesture.   
“You’re married?” the father asked nodding at them, his wife still sobbing into his chest.   
“Yes.” Dr. Edwards replied. Louis just looked away and Harry caught his gaze before he looked away again and cleared his throat.   
“We need you to sign a form to let us end all extraordinary measures that’s keeping your daughter alive.” Louis continued professionally letting go of his wife’s hand.   
“I’m really sorry, Mr. Clark.” He said again.   
“Pinnock, take them in to see her and give them the forms.” Dr. Edwards said and Leigh nodded and directed them back into the room.

“Louis, what happened to your neck?!” Perrie exclaimed the minute the parents and Leigh-Anne were gone.   
“Nothing.” Louis said brushing her off.   
“Don’t lie to me! There are red scratches! Did someone attack you?” she shouted. Harry looked away and down at his nails realizing that was his work she was making a fuss about.   
“Don’t make a big deal out of nothing, I probably did it in my sleep, god.” Louis replied rolling his eyes.   
“OK, but cover it up, it looks horrible! Don’t you want people to see you as the professional surgeon you are? That almost looks like some sick sex-injury you would have gotten in high school.” She said pulling at his collar so it covered the marks. Harry swallowed loudly and stepped a few inches back.   
“For god’s sake, Perrie! What?!” Louis shouted back pulling the collar back.   
“It’s a bloody scratch mark, not a love bite!” he continued. Perrie looked away and suddenly Harry found her studying his own neck. Fuck. Was she going to give him some lecture on professionalism now?   
“It’s a bruise…” he mumbled looking away.   
“I didn’t ask, it’s none of my business.” She replied.   
“… but in the future you might wanna wear a turtleneck or something. And you, stop scratching!” she said looking back at Louis before she walked into the patient room.

Harry took a deep breath and walked over to Louis.   
“That was close…” he whispered. Louis just looked at his pager ignoring his presence.   
“Remember, outside of any place that does include anyone else than the two of us, I’m your boss and you cannot talk to me like I’m anything else, understood?” Louis whispered back still not looking at him.   
“But…” So that did make sense, but how could he? As he had established, he possessed next to zero self-control, there was no way he could ignore him or not look at him. For god’s sake, he had seen him naked; he knew what was under those scrubs.   
“Louis…. I.” he began as he finally turned towards him.   
“It’s Dr. Tomlinson.” He replied as he walked away. Harry felt empty and confused as he abandoned him there alone in the hallway. What even? Of course he understood just… he didn’t need to behave like that. He didn’t need to execute that whole hot and cold thing anymore. This whole affair was growing more and more complicated by the second. He should so end it, end it before someone got hurt. And what even was it he had said?   
“If you knew the story about my marriage you wouldn’t think it was wrong at all.” What did that mean? He had a kid… and another one on the way for god’s sake. He was starting to feel a bit dizzy from it all. Damn, what the hell was this? He gave the patient room a quick glare before he walked away. He really needed to talk to someone about it all. He was in desperate need of some advice. The problem was that he had no real friends he could talk to, and if he told Gemma – his sister – she was going to kill him. The only thing she would hear was “married man” and she would just fly over to Seattle and kill him right there, right now. Not to mention his mom, she would be really disappointed. God, he had to end this right away. What were the pros to this anyway? Mind blowing sex? He could probably get that elsewhere. Probably… right? Maybe not. Gemma would just bring up Ashton and tell him how he would just break all over again when this ended, because it was bound to end, right? Married, his boss, too gorgeous for this universe… of course it would end. Fair enough, he had been a mess after Ashton, and she had picked him up and put him back together… but this, this was different. He wasn’t in love; he was just infatuated, or obsessed. It was just a crush. He didn’t really know this guy, he knew next to nothing about him, apart from the fact that he was great in bed and had a killer body. Damn, this was bad… and it got worse and worse the longer he thought about it. Maybe he should just call Gemma, maybe she would force him into his right mind. He wasn’t this stupid, not really. He wasn’t dumb enough to have sex with his married boss.

He walked over to a bench deciding it was better to just send her a text as he realized it was 11PM.   


-       _Sorry if I woke you… I just really need to talk, think I might be in a bit of trouble. Harry xx_

He pressed send and leaned back hoping she was awake. To his delight she responded after a few minutes.

-       _Oh no, you idiot, what did you do this time? I’m going to Seattle tomorrow for work, I’ll swing by the hospital for lunch… can’t wait to lecture you again. See you tomorrow, and in the meantime you can think about what you would do without your amazing sister xx_

Harry shook his head grinning at her response. Truthfully, he had no idea what he would do without her as he was a complete moron… Damn, he had to prepare a way to tell her about it without her killing him before he would get halfway through. He took a deep breath looking at the time realizing his shift was over. So maybe he could get a good night’s sleep and then figure it out. He got up and started walking to the elevator. He pressed the button and got in as the doors slid apart. Just before they were about to close someone put their hand between the doors so they opened again. Harry looked up to the roof as he saw the person was Louis.

He couldn’t talk to him, or look at him before he had spoken to Gemma about it all. His presence clouded his judgement, made him stupid. He was smarter than this. He knew sleeping with a married man was wrong no matter how screwed up the marriage was.

The doors closed and Louis turned around. Harry looked away and pressed the button for floor five and leaned back at the wall.   
“I know you don’t believe me, but it really isn’t what I looks like. She puts up a façade at the hospital, she doesn’t want her friends to know about it all.” Louis said walking towards him. Harry looked up at the roof again.   
“I don’t think it matters as long as you don’t tell me what it is then.” He replied. Louis sighed and stopped a few inches from him.   
“I’ll tell you, I just have to figure out the complications. I have to figure out how to leave her.” He said breathily and leaned in. Harry swallowed. What had he just said? That he would leave her? He had to stay calm… he had to talk to Gemma about this, he couldn’t reply to that, could he?   
“You’re not leaving her for me, we met two days ago. Just stop… please, we don’t know each other.” He said figuring that was something Gemma would make him say. Anyway, it sounded reasonable. They didn’t know each other, this was nonsense.   
“I’m not doing it for you, but if I do, we could get to know each other, don’t you get that? I want to know you.” Louis replied leaning further in, his lips half an inch from his. Harry sighed. Damn, he was good. He knew he couldn’t say no to that. He knew he had him wrapped around his finger. Fuck. Maybe this was all an act. Wasn’t all that what cheating men always said anyway?   
  
_I’ll leave my wife for you._  
I’m hurt, it’s not what you think.  
He had heard it all before in the movies. Fuck, how dumb was he?

“Just stop. You’re still my boss anyway and we both know you won’t leave her.” He replied staring into his eyes. Louis’ expression was unreadable.   
“If you say so.” He replied kissing him. Damn, why the hell did he do that? As usual, Harry wanted to push him away, but of course he wouldn’t. It felt too good, it messed with his mind, made him stupid, idiotic even. God, this had to end.

The elevator stopped and Louis pulled back biting his lip.   
“See you around, Dr. Styles.” He said as he walked out and the doors shut.

Harry groaned and leaned back again. This was so, so bad.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm excited about this chapter because it's the longest yet with over 5K words! In the beginning I tried to keep the chapters at 2K, but someone mentioned that it's a bit short and I agree. Anyway, the story is taking some twists and turns now and I'm excited about that as well! I would also like to say that I have no beta (and I don't really understand what a beta is supposed to do anyway), so ignore any spelling/grammar mistakes, I'll fix 'em once I notice 'em. I've also updated previous chapters because i read through and corrected mistakes. 
> 
> Also, if you like my writing I've just posted a new Larry fic called "Somewhere, Someday", so if you're interested you should check it out!

Harry had been up all night trying to figure out a way to tell Gemma about it all. He had decided to just go for it. If she decided to flay him, then that was his destiny and he had to accept it. He was about to enter the locker-room when he spotted Louis down the hall leaned up against the wall. He stopped, took a deep breath and bit his lip. The guy he remembered as the chief was standing in front of Louis seeming to be lecturing him or something. He gesticulated wildly, slamming the side of his right hand into the palm of the left one repeatedly. Harry took a deep breath and walked into the locker-room. Maybe Dr. Nelson had told on him, maybe the chief was lecturing him on professionalism in the workplace.

“Any good cases today, Styles?” Michael said as Harry walked in and sat down on the bench in front of the lockers.   
“No, I’m doing scout… and now I’m heading to lunch with my sister.” He replied as he pulled his phone out only to discover Gemma had texted him that she was already in the hospital.   
“Didn’t know you had a sister, is she hot?” Michael replied as he put an apple he had pulled out of his locker into his mouth.   
“I don’t think I should answer that…” Harry replied as the door went open, he turned to see Gemma standing in the doorway.   
“Hey, noodlehead.” She said and waved at him.   
“Well, she is.” Michael whispered and looking her up and down with a stupid grin on his face.   
“Never in your wildest dreams, Clifford.” Harry replied and turned to Gemma.   
“I’ll just change, and then we’ll go.” He said and smiled.

…

 

Harry walked with Gemma to the cafeteria. She had cut her hair since the last time he had seen her. It now reached her shoulders and was a shade blonder as well. He had complimented her on it which had just lead to her telling him it was time to cut his as it was longer than hers, he hadn’t replied.

“So, baby-brother, what is that you’ve managed to drag yourself into this time?” she said cheerfully, but Harry could still hear the sarcastic undertone. He pushed the cafeteria-door open and directed her over to a table by the window before he decided he might as well not reply. He didn’t really know what to say, he didn’t know how he should explain what a brainless idiot he was. Gemma put her brown leather jacket on the chair before she sat down and smirked at him.   
“You get me something.” She said and put her elbows to the table and rested her head in her palms.   
“What do you want?” he halfway-stuttered. She smirked wider and bit her lip and pretended to think really hard.  
“Surprise me.” She said. He nodded and turned as he walked over to the food trays. He was about to take one of them as Louis stepped in front of him.   
“Hi.” He said and grabbed the tray he had been reaching for.

“Hello…” he replied stutteringly and looked away. He couldn’t deal with him right now.   
“What are you getting?” Louis asked like he was trying to make a conversation.   
“Excuse me?” Harry said, still remembering how he had said they wouldn’t be talking in public.  

“What are you getting for lunch?” Louis continued and smiled. Harry wanted to roll his eyes. What was his problem anyway?  
“Why do you care?” he spit a bit more hostile than necessary.   
“Jeez, I was just trying to make small talk, mate.” He said and cut in line before him.   
“Why?” Harry replied. Louis turned around and looked at him through his eyelashes.   
“Because I want to.”

Harry sighed.  
“Well you can’t always get everything you want.” He said as he spotted Leigh-Anne in the front of the line. He walked away from Louis and stopped when he reached her.  
“Oh, hi! I didn’t see you there.” She said as she turned.

 

Harry came back to the table by the window with two cheese and ham baguettes and two cans of coke.

“They were out of coffee.” He mumbled and put Gemma’s food down in front of her.   
“Well, coke is fine I guess.” She giggled and took a bit of her baguette. Harry did the same and smiled at her.   
“So how you’ve been, Gems?” he said after a few moments of eating in silence.   
“I’ve been fine, but we’re not here to talk about me, remember? But as you mentioned it, the reason I’m in town is because I’m applying for a job at a law firm here in Seattle.” She said and smirked. Gemma was a lawyer and up until now she had been working in Portland.   
“Seriously? That’s amazing!” Harry shot and felt an enormous grin fill his face.   
“Ah, that’s adorable, Haz, but don’t get too excited, it’s a pretty hot shot firm and I’m probably not posh enough for them.”  
“Gemma, you’re amazing! They’ll be lucky to have you!” he nearly shouted. He really hated it when she seemed to be doubting herself.

“Well – if I do get the job, and you’ve not rented out the other rooms in moms house yet – I’d love to just move in with you. Apartment-hunting is a dread.” She continued. Harry hadn’t actually thought about renting out the rooms. They had talked about it when he first was accepted at Seattle Grace, but he had been too occupied with his stupid love life to even think about it.   
“I haven’t done that yet – actually I had forgotten about it. But I guess I should rent out the other rooms anyway, I’ll leave your room for now I guess.” He mumbled as he opened the coke-can and took a sip.   
“… I could ask the other interns in my group if they’re interested.”  
“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea! But now Harry, what was it that you’d fucked up so badly you need my help to fix it?” Gemma replied. Harry swallowed, so he just had to spit it out and get it over with.

“You don’t get too yell at me – or kill me, not until I’m done talking, OK?” he started. Gemma lent back in her chair as a serious expression settled on her face. Harry swallowed again.   
“So it’s that bad? You haven’t gotten back together with Ashton? God Harry, you deserve so much better! I can’t believe you keep going back to-“ Harry stopped her.  
“It’s not that, I haven’t seen him since we drove him off to that rehab facility.” He said, not really feeling that whole conversation.   
“Oh, OK. Then spill it.” Gemma said in what seemed to be relief. He took a deep breath.   
“So… ehm, when I got here the night before me first day I went to a bar.” He began. Gemma nodded lightly as he talked.   
“And I met this guy.”   
“Wow, that has never happened before.” She remarked sarcastically.   
“Don’t interrupt!” he hissed. She rolled her eyes and smirked quickly at him.   
“Anyway, he was very charming and all, bright blue eyes and whatever. I took him home.” He stopped to breathe and Gemma looked at him seemingly awaiting why this was so bad.  
“Whatever… he was great and when I woke the next morning I was a bit hazy and had seemed to forget that I had a godlike guy on my floor… but I asked him to leave and all so it was fine…” Gemma seemed to be a bit bored by then.   
“Anyway, when I get to work I find out that the guy is the head of neuro – which equals my boss – and he suddenly has a British accent and a wedding ring that I don’t remember from the bar.” He stopped and sighed. Gemma leaned in and looked him deeply into the eyes.   
“Harry it’s not your fault that some guy chose to cheat on his husband and not inform you that he was married and from a different continent, I mean as long as it didn’t happen again it’s fine.” She said. Harry swallowed.   
“I wasn’t finished.” He mumbled and looked down. He could hear her nearly gasp.   
“Harry!” she hissed and slapped his hand.   
“Shh! Let me finish the story.”

“I find out that he in fact has a wife – not a husband anyway – and a 17 year old son… and his wife is pregnant.” Gemma gasped again and seemed to want to throw him out of the window next to them.   
“And I really wanted to walk away, I did. But he is manipulative and I’m an idiot, so long story short – I had sex with him again after I met his wife and son, and someone even told me to walk away because it was too complicated.” Gemma sighed and looked at him as he spoke.   
“He keeps telling me it’s not what it looks like and that he’ll leave her, and I obviously know that it’s bullshit, but I like him… I know I have no right to, but-“ his voice broke and Gemma stroke his cheek and smiled at him.  
“Why do you always fall for the mad ones, Harry?” she asked rhetorically.   
“What should I do?” he said hearing his voice go thick. She leaned back again and licked her lip as she seemed to think about it.

“Well, tell him either he explains why it’s not what it looks like and tells his wife that he is a cheater, or it’s over. You can’t let predatory men like this one walk all over you, not again.” She said after a few moments.  
“Ashton wasn’t like that, Gemma.” Not that it mattered, but Harry liked to defend him when Gemma mistreated him, even though he had ruined him, he was ill after all.   
“Yes, he was. Drugs or no drugs, he was – and probably still is unless he has OD-ed – a manipulative asshole.” She replied Harry froze a little when she mentioned overdosing.   
“Sorry.” She said as she seemed to notice.   
“It’s OK… I just… I still get flashbacks from when he did – overdose I mean.” He mumbled and took another bite of his baguette as he realized his lunch break was about to end.

…

He didn’t see Louis for the rest of the week or the next, which was a relief. He wanted to take Gemma’s advice and give him the ultimatum, but he knew he wouldn’t tell him anything but lies. Maybe he should just distance himself, maybe he should just learn how to control himself and move on. Jade, Niall and Michael had moved into the house. As the house had six bedrooms, he had offered one to Leigh as well, but she said she had a nice apartment but was grateful for the request. Gemma had told him her interview had gone great, so he was expecting her to get the job and move in with them.

Harry and Michael had been assigned to Dr. Malik and plastics for the day by Dr. Nelson and were walking over to the department as Harry spotted McSteamy – or whatever the girls called him – and realized he was Dr. Malik. He couldn’t help but notice that the head of plastics had a flawless face – how ironic.

“Styles and Clifford?” he asked tiredly as they reached him. They nodded.   
“Hmm.” He said and nodded looking them up and down.   
“I don’t know how much experience you guys have, but I expect you assholes to act professionally when you are on my service, I don’t want any gaging, passing out or anything else you pathetic kids could think about doing.” He said cockily. Harry just nodded, he had learned by now that most attendings where rude and expected to be treated like kings so he had decided to just do so.

“Anyway, we have two patients today. One girl is having a consult for breast implants and then we have a guy that is having a liposuction and he is also having a consult for a rhino-plastic.” Dr. Malik continued. Harry nodded affirmatively.   
“Fine. Clifford, tell me – what is important when a girl wants breast implants?” he asked.   
“To get them as big as possible?” Michael replied and grinned sheepishly. Dr. Malik rolled his eyes.   
“What did I tell you?” he sighed rhetorically.   
“Styles, are you also a moron of a manwhore, or?” Harry shook his head.   
“I would think that it’s important to establish why she wants them, is it for herself or maybe she has a douchy boyfriend that is pushing her to do it. Maybe we should also see if they’re actually needed – the implants I mean. And then I guess we’ll take it from there?” Harry said unsure if it had all been rubbish or not. Plastic surgery was the last specialty he was interested in and he hadn’t bothered to read much up on it either.   
“That seems reasonable.” Dr. Malik nodded and lead way to an exam room.

“Evelyn Styles?” Dr. Malik read off a sheet and Harry felt his heart jump in his chest. Michael looked at him confusingly and he just shrugged. He looked over to the patient. She was a young woman, early twenties maybe. She was sitting on a bench with long brown hair crushing down over a white hospital-gown. She smiled back at him with blue eyes. Next to her sat another girl with dark blonde wavy hair, bright green eyes and blood-red lips. Her face was unreadable and she seemed to be looking the men in front of her up and down. She was wearing a black, low cut crop top, high-waisted black jeans and a leather jacket. Harry turned to Michael and saw him looking at her cleavage. He wanted to sigh, but he managed not to. He turned back and looked at the guy on the other side of the bench. He was probably the boyfriend, also seemed to be in his twenties, black hair and big silly grin on his face. He was nice looking, not like Dr. Malik though.

“That’s me.” The girl on the table said and shook Dr. Malik’s hand.   
“I’m Dr. Zayn Malik, I’ll do your consult today. These are interns, just ignore them.” He replied charmingly as he pointed to Harry and Michael. The girl with the red lips giggled in that way all straight girls do when they see a hot guy and shook his hand as well.   
“I’m Iggy.” She said which had Harry thinking of that rapper with the big ass. Dr. Malik then grinned at her and moved on to the guy.  
“Calum, I’m the boyfriend.” He said confirming Harry’s assumption.

“Wait a sec, I know that guy.” Michael whispered as he nearly ran over to the bench.  
“Cal?!” he nearly shouted.  
“Mikey?! Oh my god!” Calum – or whatever – shouted back and they did that typical bro hug. Harry rolled his eyes.   
“You’re a doctor, dude! I would never have thought you of all people would have become one!” Michael nudged him in the shoulder and they just grinned at each other.  
“You still work in your dad’s shop in California or?” Michael asked.   
“Nah, me and the girls moved here, so no more of that shit. I work at the bar over the street now.”  
“No kidding!” The two girls started exchanging looks and Harry could see Dr. Malik tripping.

“OK, I’m pretty sure this is not what I was gonna spend my valuable time listening to.” Dr. Malik said and the guys parted.   
“Oh, of course.” Calum said and smiled in an excusing manner. Michael walked back to Harry and mumbled “small world” as he grinned stupidly at him.

“So you want breast implants?” Dr. Malik asked and turned to Evelyn – which Harry was “randomly” going to ask about her last name later. He knew his father had left his mother because he knocked another woman up, and the last he heard was that he lived in California… which seemed to be where these girls were from, and the fact that Evelyn had his father’s blue eyes had him thinking that maybe – just maybe – that this girl was his half-sister.

“Well, I’ve been thinking about it for a while.” She replied turning to Calum which had Harry staring disgusted at him. He looked over at her friend – whom obviously had smaller breasts and didn’t seem to bother showing them off at all (which she shouldn’t, they looked great), which had him concluding that this definitely was Calum’s idea.   
“I mean, they’re small and it bothers me.” She said as she dropped the gown. Harry kicked Michael in the leg as he saw him staring thirstily. He would let him get away with staring at a cleavage – because the girl had obviously worn that top on purpose – but not at these exposed boobs, because he was a doctor and she was having a consult and that was not the way he was supposed to stare.

Dr. Malik leaned down and studied the boobs.   
“Well, they’re not small, actually these are in the bigger spectrum.” He confirmed which had Iggy make that “I told you so”-face Harry had seen on Gemma’s face a billion times. Calum seemed annoyed though which had Harry wanting to gag.   
“Yeah, but they definitely could be bigger, right?” Calum said. Harry rolled his eyes at him and gave Iggy a look to ensure her that at least _he_ agreed with her – despite the lack of common sense in the two horny idiots whom were obsessed with gigantic breast apparently.

“Well – if that’s what _you_ want, we definitely could make that happen.” Dr. Malik said and nodded at Evelyn. The reply seemed to make Calum even more annoyed as he looked desperately over at Michael.

“Evelyn, really, your breasts are fine as they are, you don’t need a boob-job.” Iggy said as she turned against her friend.   
“Iggy, shut up! You’re not the one paying for this, I am!” Calum snapped. She rolled her eyes and looked back at Harry in what seemed like a request for a little assistance as he had already made sure she knew he agreed.   
“Calum, I’m Dr. Styles.” He said walking over to him which seemed to bother Dr. Malik a bit. He could see Evelyn look at him as she heard his name, but he decided to focus on Calum whom hadn’t even noticed.   
“Even if you’re the one paying, it’s still your girlfriend’s choice to get breast implants and you can’t force her. As Iggy here and Dr. Malik – the head of the department - has already made clear, her boobs are perfectly fine.” He said hoping Dr. Malik would think it was the right thing to say. Harry turned just to catch him nod affirmatively.   
“Well, then it’s not Iggy’s business either then.” He said giving her a look Harry didn’t know what meant, but she sent it back.   
“OK, Evelyn, why don’t you and I talk about this while the interns take your friends outside?” Dr. Malik said.  


Harry closed the door as Michael and Calum walked over to the vending machine for snacks and catching up. Iggy leaned back at the wall and looked at him with piercing green eyes. She picked up one of the blonde locks and studied it for a while before she dropped it and looked back up at him biting her blood-red lip.

“Thanks, Dr. Styles. He has been nagging her about this for years.” She said.  
“No problem, you can call me Harry by the way.” He said and smiled. She smiled back.  
“Is there anywhere we can go for a smoke?” she asked. He wanted to give her a lecture about why smoking is really bad, but didn’t want to be that stupid doctor stereotype so he just nodded.   
“Yeah, come here.” He said and directed her over to the exit to the balcony. They stepped out and he closed the door behind them. She pulled out a pack Marlboro lights and put one between her lips. She then held the pack up at him with a questioning look on her face.   
“You want one?” she asked. He was about to shake his head but took one anyway. It wasn’t like one cigarette would kill him, and he was sort of fascinated by this girl so he wanted to stay out there with her. She put the pack back in her pocket and lit the smoke and handed him the lighter.

Harry hadn’t smoked since college, but he seemed to remember how to pull it off without looking ridiculous. He handed the lighter back and took a drag trying to not choke on the smoke. She took a drag and shook her head grinning at him as he coughed.

“You don’t really smoke, do you?” she asked and laughed before she took another drag and pulled her hair behind her ear.   
“No, not really.“ he replied and smiled stupidly.   
“Me neither, if my mom asks anyway.” She said and stepped closer.

“So you guys are from California?” he asked straightening himself up hoping she wasn’t taking it all as flirting as he didn’t like leading people on. Anyway, he wanted to pry about the whole “Styles”-deal with her friend.   
“Yeah, Evelyn and I got a deal performing three nights a week in the bar Cal’s now working in, and since we’re trying to get a record deal we decided to move here, for now at least. The weather in Cali is much nicer though.” She said and smiled as she took another drag. Harry did the same and nodded.

“Well, I suck at being subtle… so I’m just gonna ask. We have the same name and I know my dad knocked up at woman and moved to California, so I’m just curious.” She nodded, not seeming surprised which made him a bit unsure and shaky.

“Well, we were both born in 1993 and her father’s name is Des Styles, as far as I know he has two children with a woman named Anne that he left to raise them alone and he barely seems to contact them. Evelyn doesn’t know though, don’t ask why I do.”

Harry closed his eyes. Of course, on top of everything this was coming to haunt him. He sighed and leaned down on the railing.   
“That’s your dad, isn’t it?” Iggy said. He nodded.

“Well, I can talk to her about it all if you want to. I mean, I’ve always felt like she should know her other siblings. She has two others, an older sister from her mother’s previous marriage and a younger brother… well I guess you then have a younger brother as well.” She said stepping on her cigarette.   
“You don’t have to, it’s fine.” He replied thinking this was probably another thing he had to talk to Gemma about.   
“We’re gonna be performing at the bar tonight if you change your mind, you can come over I guess.” She said and smiled again. He smiled back wondering if there were any other reasons she invited him to the bar.

…

The liposuction had been a bore. The guy had been someone Dr. Malik seemingly already knew named Shahid Khan and he kept complimenting him saying he wanted to look just like him, which had Dr. Malik seeming a bit uncomfortable. He had proceeded by denying Mr. Khan the rhino-plastic saying he was unfit for it at the moment because he had had one just recently. Harry had later asked him if this guy was a crazy stalker, but he had just told him not to mention patients in that manner and told him “good work today, Styles – unlike you, Clifford.”  
At least Evelyn had postponed the boob-job for now, which had Calum enraged, but Dr. Malik had told her to come back in a few months if she still wanted it as he had asked her to think about it.

Harry sat down on the bench in the locker-room waiting for Michael to finish changing as they were going to the bar with the rest of their group. Harry had mentioned the performance and everyone seemed to be interested in checking it out – if not, they at least were interested in getting a few drinks in them. He wasn’t planning on saying anything about changing his mind to Iggy, he should probably talk to Gemma first anyway, as it involved them both and she had promised to call the next day so it was the perfect opportunity anyway.

Michael stepped out of the bathroom and grabbed his bag from the locker.   
“You ready, Styles?” he asked and Harry nodded.   
“We’re meeting the others there.” He said which had Michael mumbling “OK” as they walk out of the locker-room.   


The bar was crowded which had Harry thinking the girls might be quite popular which made him happy. Iggy had told him they would be on at nine, which was about ninety minutes from now. Harry spotted Jade, Leigh and Niall by a table with a perfect view of the tiny stage in the back. He and Michael walked over to them and Harry offered to get them drinks. He walked over to the bar and ordered a Cosmopolitan for himself and a Jägerbomb for Michael. As he stood there waiting for the drinks he could see Louis walking up next to him. He wanted to sigh. After over a week without having to worry about him it was tiring having to go back to it.

“Hello.” Louis said before ordering a coke with rum.   
“Hi.” Harry replied even though he felt like just walking away, but he hadn’t gotten his drinks yet because of the fact that the bar was packed so he couldn’t.   
“Haven’t seen you in a while.” Louis mumbled. Harry just shrugged.   
“I’ve been busy.” He replied looking away, not letting his looks mislead him.   
“So you meant it?” Louis asked. Harry looked confusedly back at him.   
“What?”  
“That I couldn’t have you.”  
“I didn’t say that.” He said even though he probably should have.   
“You said I couldn’t always have what I want.”  
Harry sneered.   
“God, that was cheesy.” He replied rolling his eyes. For some reason he had seemed to adopt an attitude when it came to Louis, he didn’t care if he was his boss anymore. Gemma was right; he wasn’t going to let predatory men walk all over him.   
“You were the one that said it.” Louis replied leaning at the bar counter. Harry sighed.   
“Whatever, I’m over this.” Harry lied and turned around looking at the bottles of liquor over the bar.  

“You’re a bad liar.” Louis replied. Harry sighed again and turned back.   
“You know what? I don’t care, because I’m gonna get over this, maybe I’m not over it at the moment, but I’m done nevertheless. You’re married – and I don’t care what it looks like or why, because I’m not messing with a married man, period.” He said a bit too loud which seemed to have Louis freak out a bit.   
“Lower your god damn voice!” he hissed. Harry rolled his eyes again. Acting like that seemed to help, because Louis started to look desperate and like he couldn’t handle losing control of the situation.

“And – let’s not forget that you’re my boss… anyway that should be reason enough.” Harry said looking away again. He could feel Louis stepping closer putting his hand on his hip.   
“Well, then you know you can’t talk to me like that.” He whispered in his ear and dug his fingernails into the fabric of his jeans. Harry turned his head slightly just to look down at him. His face was flustered, the vain on his forehead showing. Harry knew he had managed to flip the table, that for the moment at least – he was in control.

“We’re not in the hospital now, so we’re equals. Anyway I doubt I would be the one chief Payne would fire after hearing why you find me so unpleasant in the workplace… because you do know that this is sexual harassment, right?” he whispered back as he looked down at him. He could see something fire up in Louis’ eyes.   
“Oh don’t give me that rubbish!” he spit back digging his fingernails even deeper. Harry didn’t even flinch.  
“Well, if you don’t leave me alone at least Perrie and I will have a pretty nice conversation later over a cup of coffee.” Harry replied which had Louis slapping his hand at his hip.   
“You wouldn’t dare.” He said. Harry sneered. He couldn’t believe he was actually pulling this off, Gemma would be proud.   
“I thought you were leaving her, so why would you care? I’m making it easier for you, Louis.” He said still as confidently. Louis seemed to be about to lose it.   
“What makes you think you have the right to throw that back in my face?” he spit and got on his toes to look him into the eyes. Harry still towered over him and he could see that the bartender had placed the drinks beside him.   
“Because two can play this game and I’m done with always letting everyone else win.” Harry replied as he was about to grab his drinks and go back to the table as he was pretty sure Michael was getting impatient for his mix of Jägermeister and RedBull, and he felt like the conversation was done anyway. Louis didn’t seem to think so though, he grabbed Harry’s bicep and help him back.

“It’s not a game.” He said. Harry sneered. Of course it was, he knew what type of guy he was. Of course it was a game.   
“Then what is it?” he asked as he decided to play along. Louis just stared at him, didn’t seem to have an answer.   
“That’s what I thought.” He said shaking his hand off his arm. He grabbed the drinks and walked away. He knew he was staring after him and he knew he had messed him up.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry it's been a 1000 years, but I kinda lost inspiration and I've been really busy with school and all.  
> Anyway, here's the new chapter, gonna try to update sooner this time.  
> Enjoy!
> 
> (Haven't read through yet, so might be some mistakes and so on, but I just wanted to post cuz it's been so long, so I'll fix that later)

Harry placed Michael’s drink in front of him and sat down.   
“What took so long?” he asked a bit annoyed. Harry took a sip of the Cosmopolitan and looked over at him.   
“There was a long line.” He lied and smiled. Michael just shrugged and took a huge sip of the drink.   
“Remember that we have to drive back to the house later, so everyone can’t be hammered.” Jade said as she put her Pina Colada down at the table. Harry nodded. It was Friday and as they all worked the same shifts on Fridays, they had decided that it would be their usual day to go out drinking and having a good time together. Anyway, it also seemed to be one of the days Iggy and Evelyn would be performing and Harry felt kind of excited about hearing them once a week as well.

Harry took another sip of his drink as what he had just said to Louis settled in his head. He had really impressed himself; he really hadn’t thought he had it in him. Maybe he had cleaned that whole mess up after all; maybe he could move on from it and just avoid neuro from now on. He had always thought he would go into cardio anyway, and Nick Grimshaw didn’t seem too bad. Anyway, he had noticed Nick checking him out on multiple occasions, not that he was going to sleep with yet another attending, but he could always use that to his advantage, not that he was that kind of person anyway.

“Harry!” he suddenly heard someone say. He looked up to see Iggy wave at him from over by the stage. He excused himself and walked over to her. Her hair was straightened and pulled up in a high ponytail; her lips weren’t red any longer but a shade of dark purple. She was still wearing black though, a tight jean-shorts and another revealing crop top and over the knee boots.

“Hey!” he said as he finished his drink and put the glass down on an empty table right beside them.   
“You came.” She said and hugged him all of a sudden. He hugged her back still unsure of her intentions. “Did you change your mind?” she asked as she leaned back.   
“No, I’m gonna talk to Gemma – my sister – about it first and then we’ll see. I came to see you perform though, and my friends and I usually go out on Fridays to party.” He said. She nodded and smiled again.   
“So I was gonna go get a drink, you wanna join?” she asked and he followed her over to the bar where Louis had sat down with his drink. He eyed him confusedly.   
“What do you want?” Iggy asked.   
“You don’t have to order mine.”  
“I get free drinks since I’m performing, so yes I do.”

Well, that seemed reasonable. Harry smiled at her again just to get another look from Louis. Was that jealousy he could see?   
“Well, I’ll have a vodka shot then.” He said which had her smiling even broader. She turned as Calum came over to take their order.   
“Give me two vodka shots!” she said. He nodded as he looked - still a bit pissed about the whole boob-job thing apparently - at Harry. He put the shots down in front of them.

“OK, let’s do it on three!” she said and began counting. Harry could hear Louis make an annoyed sound at the other end of the bar.   
“One!” she shouted and they downed their shots.  
“Let’s do another one later, I’ll have to get backstage now though. See you after?” she asked.   
“Of course!” Harry said and smirked.   
“Can’t wait.” She replied and winked as she walked away.

Harry ordered another drink as he was planning on getting wasted. It was not like he didn’t have enough drama to forget anyway. He wasn’t really sure what he had built up to with Iggy though. She was nice and pretty… and fascinating, but he was still gay. Anyway, it seemed to annoy Louis so he was just going to go with it. If he was drunk, he could just blame that if she managed to get him to a bed and nothing happened. He did realize that was kind of rude to her, but right now he didn’t give two shits about what he was doing. He downed the drink within minutes and decided to order another one. He brought it back to the table and sat down next to Michael again.

“Who was that?” Niall asked. Harry looked over at him as he felt the alcohol starting to affect him.   
“She’s the friend of one of the patients we had earlier…” he said which made him receive a confused look from Michael.   
“I thought you were gay, dude.” He said sipping on a beer he had ordered without Harry noticing.   
“I am, I can’t have female friends?” he asked taking a gulp of his drink.   
“She’s totally trying to bone you though and you’re playing along.” Michael continued. “… and I’m a bit jealous, ‘cause she is hot as fuck.”

Harry rolled his eyes at him and leaned back in his seat as he looked away. Louis was still sitting by himself with the same drink by the counter. From time to time Harry caught him looking, but he wasn’t going to read too much into that. The alcohol was beginning to make him fuzzy. He took the last sip of the remains of his drink and decided to go get another one before the performance. Jade offered to get him one, as she probably saw how drunk he already was, but he said he preferred to do it himself. He stumbled over to the bar counter and sat down on a stool.

“Vodka, straight.” He said to Calum as he came over to take his order. He looked him up and down expressionless and nodded. As he sat there he could feel Louis’ gaze glued to his side. He turned towards him and looked him straight into the eyes. His gaze didn’t flicker. Louis took a large gulp of his drink still with their glances linked.

Harry was about to say something as Calum put the drink down in front of him. Harry grabbed it and walked slowly back to the table as he stared at Louis. He nearly slammed the glass down in the table as he sat down.

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough?” Michael whispered in his ear. Harry didn’t reply, just took a sip of the vodka. He could feel Michael roll his eyes at him before he turned away.

Suddenly the lights in the room were dimmed and the two girls entered the stage. Iggy started playing the opening chords on a guitar as they sat down on the stools placed on the stage. Evelyn began playing on a keyboard that was placed in front of her after a few chords and then Iggy began singing. After a few moments Harry noticed the song to be a slowed down version of Bon Jovi’s “You Give Love A Bad Name”. As the pre-chorus broke Evelyn joined in and he could hear Calum shout from behind the bar.

 

After the performance Iggy came over to their table with two shots.  
“Hey, did you guys enjoy the performance?” she asked and flashed a bright smile.  
“You guys were great!” Michael shouted excitingly followed by agreeing mumbles from the rest of the group. Harry smiled drunkenly and took the shot she was holding out to him.

“Well, thanks guys! Cheers!” she said and downed the shot. Harry did the same and smiled at her again gaining an annoyed look from Michael. He was about to tell him off as Louis of all people walked over to them.  
“Great performance! You’re really talented!” he shot putting his hand on Iggy’s shoulder. She turned to him and smiled. Harry looked down and tried to act normal, ignoring Jade and Leigh-Anne looking nearly starstruck over at Louis.   
“Thank you so much!” Iggy smiled and shook his hand.  
“You’re welcome. I’m Louis Tomlinson, I run the neurosurgical department over at the hospital.” Louis replied which had Harry wondering why he had felt like adding his occupation and last name to the introduction, before it hit him that guys like him knew women had a thing for men in power, especially when they looked like that and had a British accent. He wanted to vomit, not really sure if it was because of that or the obscene amount of alcohol he had downed.

“I’m going to the bathroom…” he said before he stood up and stumbled over to the men’s room in the back of the building.

He turned the faucet on after closing the door behind him and splashed water all over his face. He tried focusing his a bit too foggy glare at his reflection in the mirror, but it was impossible. What the fuck had his life become anyway? He felt like passing out and never open his eyes again, like ever.

He decided to pull his shit together – and maybe avoid alcohol for the rest of the night unless he wanted to wake up with an even stronger death wish - and got out of the bathroom. He stumbled out in the hallway and was about to return to their table as he heard a hushed giggle. He stopped and turned so he could look into the corner behind him. There was Iggy… and Louis.

Her top was already half-way down her chest and Louis’ tongue in her throat, and how long had he been in that bathroom? He was about to turn and run away so he could process what he had just witnessed as Louis caught his eye, smirking as Iggy started sucking on his neck. He mouthed something Harry couldn’t make out, and he started to feel sick. He did the only thing that came to his mind, and stopped himself as he realized he’d just flipped his boss off.

“Fuck.” He groaned as he turned not interested in seeing Louis’ reaction. He started feeling nauseous as he nearly ran for the table. He was about to sit down as he realized he was too far away from the chair and he would hit the floor, but Michael caught him before he did and swung him up on it.

“God, now you’ve really had enough.” Michael murmured and Harry felt like he was two seconds from throwing up.

 

…

 

Everything had been a blur after that, only small fractions of the time still a part of his memory. He could remember Jade holding his hair as he puked out of the car, remembered her wiping his mouth and telling him he was going to be OK. He remembered Michael and Niall carrying him into his room before he screamed something about “fucking asshole brit scumbag” and Michael telling him to shut up and go to sleep.

The next morning was a nightmare. The worst, most excruciating headache of his life had him bed bound and he thanked some god he didn’t believe in for it being his day off. Jade had stopped by his room sometime in the afternoon asking if he wanted something so eat, but he had mumbled “no” into his pillow and gone back to sleep.

Gemma had called as promised, telling him she got the job and was coming down at the beginning of next week, but he had been to out of it to tell her about Evelyn and that whole deal.

The week had gone by in a blur of helping Gemma settle into the house and avoiding Dr. Louis Tomlinson and that whole mess. No one had mentioned his drunken breakdown, but he knew they were all talking about it, knew Michael and Niall had been discussing what he had meant by “fucking asshole brit scumbag” and even talked about Harry not knowing Ireland was no longer a part of Britain, as they seemed to think he had meant Niall.

As the next Friday approached he had cringed at the thought of going out and excused himself from the weekly drinking-party. He didn’t really want to see Iggy either, not that he was mad that she fucked Louis in a corner per se. but he was still mad at her for some reason he didn’t bother putting a name to.

As Gemma had decided to take his place around the table at the bar, he went to the nearest Walmart to find something to eat by himself as he caught up on some of the TV-shows he used to watch once upon a time before his life was a stupid soap opera of itself.

He was about to grab a frozen pizza as he spotted Louis at the other end of the freezer.

“Fuck.” He mumbled through his teeth. He was about to take off and run as Louis’ very blue eyes caught his. He didn’t say anything, just froze as he stared back at him.

Harry had avoided thinking about Louis for the past week, avoided his fake-anger, and as he looked at him now all he could think about was how beautiful he was. He tried to remember that he was a manipulative asshole that had fucked a girl just to spite him, but he couldn’t.

Louis started moving towards him and stopped at the opposite side of the freezer with a safe amount of space between them. Harry took a deep breath.

“Hello.” Louis mumbled and placed his shopping cart down at the freezer.   
“Hi.” Harry replied trying to gather himself. He couldn’t do that either.

“I didn’t do it with that girl.” Louis continued in a hushed tone. Harry just looked at him.   
“What makes you think I care?” he replied as cold as he could.   
“Because you’re upset about it… I can tell.”

Harry wondered how he thought he had the right to even care if he cared, or when he had found the time to tell if he was upset.

“’m not.” He mumbled back and looked down into the freezer.

“Well, anyway – I’m sorry, it was unnecessary to snog her, I only did it ‘cause you hurt me.” Louis said and Harry could feel his face light up. Did he really have the power to hurt him? He didn’t really know why, but it made an obnoxious form of happiness bloom inside of him.   
“Truth is, I like you Harry, and you telling me off made me mad.”

Harry knew he shouldn’t believe him, this could just be his tactic to win him back, but then there was the way he said his name with that Yorkshire accent of his – without the h and with an eh at the end. It messed with his head – clearly, because he was smarter than this, he was – but there this gorgeous man stood before him, telling him he liked him, that he had pissed him off by saying he didn’t want to be with him, and everything was falling apart now.

“I like you too.” He heard himself say, and what the fuck was that about? He was such an idiot it wasn’t even funny anymore.   
“I’ll tell you about Perrie – about why things are the way they are – if you forgive me, because truth is I can’t get you out of my head.” Louis said and Harry could tell what was wrong with that sentence – he did, but at the same time all his brain was doing was screaming “Forgive him! Forgive him!” and he couldn’t do anything else.

“Sure, fine. I forgive you.” He said knowing he would have to kick himself for that later.

Louis’ face lit up and a smile as broad as possible filled his face.   
“Are you busy tonight?” he asked when his smile had faded. Harry knew he should say yes, but as established he was a terrible liar.   
“No.” he mumbled.   
“Wanna see where I really live?” Louis asked and Harry could feel himself nod.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! It's been a 1000 years again, but here's the next chapter. I'm not gonna make any promises about when the next chapter will be up this time - cuz I never keep them lol - but hopefully it'll not take too long. 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy the new chapter!! :)

Harry had seen all sorts of red flags appear in his head as he followed Louis’ brand new Porsche into the woods, but for some reason he had just kept driving, ignoring his own right mind. It wasn’t that he thought Louis was going to kill him and leave his body to be eaten by wolves, but there was just something wrong with the combination of a car like that and a muddy forest road. Louis’ car stopped as they reached a clearing and Harry put his SUV in park. He got out of the car and walked around it to find Louis leaned up against his with a stupid grin on his face.

“So you live in a cave or something?” Harry asked eyeing the Porsche, concluding that this was all some sort of scheme to fool him and that he was going to point at some skyscraper from that cliff with a perfect view of Seattle and say he lived in the penthouse.  
“Not exactly.” Louis smirked and grabbed his hand. Harry’s heart jumped in his chest as Louis led him away from the cars and around a tree.

“I live here.” He said and Harry had to squint to see if it was real. So this was a surprise he couldn’t quite process. Before him stood a trailer worn down by the weather with what looked like Christmas lights hanging from the roof.

“Do you like it?” Louis asked and Harry just stared. He remembered the huge mansion he had pulled up by to drop off his son, and he couldn’t quite understand how someone in their right mind preferred living here.  
“It’s…” he began, but he didn’t know how to finish.

“I get it. I’m a rich, fancy doctor with a yearly salary of over two million dollars and you wonder why I choose to live in a tin can in the woods… and honestly I don’t have an answer to that.” Louis said and started walking for the trailer.

Harry swallowed a couple of times and followed him. Louis smirked at him and held the door open. Harry stepped in and looked around. It was small, but kind of cozy and in some twisted way he got the appeal.

“Sorry, I don’t have a sofa, but feel free to sit down on the bed.” Louis sad and nodded in the direction of what Harry assumed was the bedroom.

He didn’t really know if he should sit down on his bed – as that could only lead to one thing – but he did so nevertheless. He kicked off his shoes and sat down taking his jacket off.  
“You want a beer?” Louis asked opening what could only be the fridge.  
“Sure.” Harry replied unsure of where this was really going.

After a moment Louis came towards him with two beers. He handed one of them to him and sat down. He looked at him with some smirk Harry couldn’t decode and tugged his leather jacket off.

“So, Harry – are you still over this?” Louis said as he took a gulp of the beer and stared him straight into the eyes. Harry swallowed. Of course he wasn’t, he never had been… but he couldn’t say that.  
“Depends on what you’ve got to say for yourself.” He replied also taking a sip of the beer, hoping his confidence wasn’t too transparent.

Louis grinned and looked down on the ring on his finger.

“Truth is Harry… I don’t know how to begin.” He mumbled and something dark went over his face, and Harry wondered if it was all an act.  
“Try.” He replied still looking at him.

“I grew up in Doncaster, a town in South Yorkshire in England.” He began.  
“I could tell form your accent.” Harry said and wanted to slap himself as he realized how stupid it sounded to just randomly say.  
“Wow. So brits aren’t just brits to you then? You can actually tell us apart?” Louis replied in what sounded like a snarky undertone, but Harry couldn’t really tell.  
“Well, I spent a summer over there working in a nursery home, so I kinda know the accent ‘cause of that, sorry for interrupting.” He mumbled and Louis just kind of nodded to himself.  
“That is nice.”

“Anyway, my parents split and my mum moved me and my sisters over here when I was fourteen. I was thrown into High School and the first person I met that I remotely got off well with was Perrie.” He continued shooting him a look to see if he was still paying attention. Harry nodded affirmatively.

“I was young and confused, and somewhere down the line I came to the conclusion that I was in love with her.”

It was like someone stabbed Harry in the chest. He knew this story. He had feared this story his whole life. Thankfully he had spilled the beans about what he thought was his darkest secret ever to Gemma, and things had worked out. Didn’t seem like it had gone that way for Louis though, or at least that was what he wanted him to believe.

“I managed to knock her up by the time I was fifteen, and I know it sounds idiotic, but that’s how Lucas came to be. And when I finally realized what was wrong about it all, it was too late.” Louis stopped and took a deep breath.  
“Anyway, our mothers had by the time Lucas was born become close friends and they helped us out. I kinda just stopped thinking about how everything felt wrong, and when I told my mum I wanted to be a doctor, she told me Debbie and she had come to the conclusion that they would look after Lucas while Perrie and I went to college and med-school - _if_ we got married.” He stopped again and took a sip of the beer. Harry couldn’t help but stare at him. He seemed sincere, but there was a little voice in the back of his head telling him that it was all crap… he concluded that it was just Gemma who had got to him with that speech about “predatory men”, because why would he make up a lie like this when it so easily could be exposed?

“I proposed to her after graduation and I guess you can imagine the rest. Obviously, I think she kinda knows, I guess that’s why she hooked up with Zayn… why she keeps hooking up with Zayn. I don’t love her, Harry. Not like I should, and I know I should tell her, but I can’t.” He looked him in the eyes again and this time Harry could see a tear stream down his cheek. And damn, if this was an act – he was good. So fucking good he should be on the big screen.

“I don’t know what to say.” He replied.  
“You don’t have to say anything, but that’s the truth… and I get it if you don’t wanna be a part of it.”

Harry tried to go through his head to find out what had brought him here, how he had got himself in this situation, but there was no explanation. He knew he was an idiot, he didn’t know this person and he couldn’t be in love with him, he had never done anything to make him fall for him like that, but there was something, something that had him sitting there about to kiss him. He leaned in and all he could think about was how Gemma was gonna flay him if she found out.

“I get it.” He found himself whisper as he pressed his lips against his. Louis kissed him softly back before leaning back. Harry looked him into the eyes before he wiped his tear from his cheek and wondered how it had come to this – Louis sitting there all exposed and vulnerable in front of him in a bed in the middle of the woods.  
“So why do you live here?” he whispered after a few moments.  
“I don’t know… I bought this land thinking that one day I’d build a house here, but I’m neither patient enough nor handy, so I bought this trailer. Perrie doesn’t know, she thinks I’m sleeping at the hospital when I don’t come home.” He said putting the beer down at the floor. Harry nodded. It kind of made sense, in some twisted way.

“So?” Louis said after another few moments. Harry looked at him again. Was he really stupid enough to continue this affair? He knew it would only end with him, a bucket of ice cream and a broken heart.  
“You’re still my boss.” He whispered, like it was the last excuse he had left. Louis sighed and looked down. “… and it just doesn’t feel right, I’m sorry.” He managed to pull out of the depths of his common sense.

“Maybe in the future, if you make it right with Perrie and I’m not an intern anymore.” He mumbled taking a last sip of his beer before putting it down next to Louis’.  
“No.” Louis just said and looked him dead in the eye. His expression was cold.  
“Then I guess this is over.” Harry heard himself say. Gemma was going to be so proud of him as it seemed his self-control had made a comeback.

“You sure?” Louis whispered and just looked at him in the dim light.  
“Yes, I’m sure.” Harry said looking back as he stood up. He turned around and started walking for the door. He had to get out of there while he still had some dignity left. Suddenly he just stopped, took a deep breath and turned back around.  
After that he wasn’t really in control of himself anymore; at least that was how he excused the rest of the night to himself.

He walked back to the bed, gripped Louis’ neck and nearly shoved his tongue into his mouth. Louis on the other hand exhaled a satisfied groan and dragged him down on top of him.  
“You’ve got no self-preservation, do you?” Louis whispered into his ear before he kissed him again. Harry didn’t reply, only focused on making this the best he could as this was going to be the last time. It had too.

 

…

 

Harry unlocked his front door as careful as he could and opened it slowly. The lights were off in the house, everyone was probably asleep. He wasn’t really sure what time it was, but the sun had started rising behind the city as he snuck out of Louis’ trailer. He had tried not to over-analyze what he had done, nothing had to mean anything unless he wanted it to. And he really didn’t. He was capable of sex with no strings. He didn’t have to fall in love with Louis Tomlinson, he really didn’t. But he was handsome, and charming and British… and everything he could never have. He was also an asshole, a manipulative jerk, a cheater and a liar, but still. Harry always fell for those he shouldn’t, and Louis’ definitely was one of those, wasn’t he?

He closed the door behind himself and sank down to the floor with his back against the door. He wasn’t in love with him, he couldn’t love a man that treated him like that… he shouldn’t. But even if he didn’t love him yet, he knew he was bound to. Why else would he still be caught in this web of lies and wrongs?

He just sat there for a while, staring out in the air and cursing his own idiotic brain.

 

“Harry?”

Harry’s eyes shut open as he realized he had fallen asleep.  
“Jade?” he replied tiredly searching for her with his eyes. He found her standing fully dressed in the staircase. He wondered to himself how in the hell he had managed to fall asleep sitting on the floor, but that was a mystery for another time because Jade was staring at him suspiciously.

“Where have you been? We all thought you were asleep in your room.” She said as she walked down the stairs and stopped at the bottom just looking at him with a somewhat concerned, but still suspicious look.  
“I… I was with someone… and I… I fell asleep when I got back.” He mumbled and got clumsily up. He yawned and looked at her again, a smirk filling her face.  
“So you actually blew us off for a date?” she grinned and looked at him with a knowing look. He shook his head softly. He was so busted.  
“No… not exactly. What time is it?” he asked subtly trying to change the subject.  
“It’s half past seven, rounds start in about half an hour… I think you’re gonna be late.” She said smirking before she turned around and strolled for the kitchen.

Harry groaned to himself and concluded he was going to need two gallons of Red Bull to get through the day.

 

…

The first few hours of working in the pit had been filled with curious and knowing looks from the rest of the interns. So maybe he had a huge hickey on his neck again – he didn’t care. Dr. Nelson had raised her eyebrows resignedly at him and shaken her head before she mumbled “not even gonna ask” under her breath. So maybe he should invest in a turtleneck, or maybe he should stop screwing his boss – both were reasonable options.

“So when are you gonna tell us about this boyfriend of yours?” Leigh-Anne asked as they were walking for their table in the cafeteria. Harry sighed soundlessly. He had realized he had to satisfy their curiosity somehow, because all of them would just keep asking and he liked them enough not to tell them to fuck off and mind their own business, but he didn’t have an answer. Obviously, he had tried (not really) to break it off with Louis, but that bastard had some sort of hold on him and he couldn’t seem to find any reason good enough to shake him off for good.

“I don’t have a boyfriend…” he mumbled as they reached their table where everyone else was already sitting. Leigh-Anne looked at him with disbelief and resign in her eyes as she sat down.

Harry sat down as well, took a deep breath and looked around the table.

“So, does anyone have any good cases today?” he asked in an attempt to ease the tension he had created. Leigh-Anne and Jade exchanged looks and Harry wanted to sigh again. So they knew he was stalling, there was nothing to do about that.

“I’m on neuro with Dr. Tomlinson.” Niall mumbled after another few moments of weird looks from the girls. Harry felt his heart skip a few beats. “… We have this patient with seizures that can’t be explained, we might operate.” Niall continued.

“Yeah, well, I like how you say ‘we’ like he’s actually gonna let you touch anything.” Michael spit with fries hanging out of his mouth. Leigh-Anne and Jade chuckled and Niall sighed loudly.

“Don’t be such a pessimist, mate. I’m actually likeable AND capable, so maybe he’ll let me hold the suction.” Niall replied and winked at him. Michael rolled his eyes dramatically and sighed.  
“Yeah… well, does that alternate universe let unicorns and mermaids do it as well?” he said.  
“No, only leprechauns.” Niall replied which had Jade chuckling for almost half a minute.

“So, what are you doing today, H?” Michael continued when everyone was finally over Niall’s attempt at being savage.  
“I’ve been working on this patient in the pit with Dr. Nelson and after lunch the chief is coming to consult, so I’m kind of nervous.” He replied as his pager went off. “… or now apparently. I have to go.”

 

…

Harry rushed into the pit and over to Dr. Nelson standing by the counter.

“You paged?” he asked breathily.  She turned slowly before looking him up and down. He swallowed feeling a bit intimidated.  
“The chief wants fresh CT-scans for the consult, so you’re gonna take the patient up to radiology.” She said before she looked him up and down one more time. Harry swallowed and stared at her perplexedly.

“Well, off you go!” she commanded still staring at him.  
“Yeah, of course.” He replied, turned around hurriedly and nearly ran for the patient.

 

As he had reached radiology there had been quite a line at the CT and he found himself standing quietly gazing at the unconscious patient. All he knew was that he had been in a car accident and hadn’t woken up ever since.

Harry moved his gaze away from the patient and rested it on the corridor behind him. It was quiet, all he could hear was the distant buzz and hammering from the MRIs down the hall. As he stood there he could feel the lack of sleep catch up to him. So evidently he could argue that what he had been doing last night was way better than sleeping, but his sleep-deprived brain would probably disagree. He closed his eyes, tried to get some sort of rest for at least a few seconds. He had tried to wrap his head around what Louis had told him last night, tried to make sense of it all, tried to make up his mind about what he was going to do about it. He knew he was a fool; he had known it all along, but there was something about Louis that still had him considering ignoring all rational form of thinking and just go with the flow.

He opened his eyes to instantly spot Perrie over by the counter in the other end of the room. He let his gaze rest on her very pregnant belly, tried feeling guilty about the fact the merely twelve hours ago he had been fucking her husband into oblivion. But he couldn’t. There was no longer any trace of guilt left in him. Slowly he was starting to feel a bit disgusted by himself. This was not the kind of person he had wanted to become. He swallowed, was about to turn away as he could see Louis approach her. He took a step backwards to make sure that he would remain unseen and watched them carefully. He tried avoiding looking at Louis. There was no need to voluntarily trigger flashbacks from the night before, especially not while spying on him and his pregnant wife.

Louis smiled at Perrie before stopping by the counter and grabbing a form lying there.

“Hi, honey!” Perrie said as she spotted him. She was about to lean in for a peck as he backed away. She shrugged before resting her side on the counter. Harry tried not to read too much into it all. Maybe Louis was just grumpy from lack of sleep. _Maybe._

“Where were you last night? You never came home.” Perrie asked after a couple of moments of silence between the two.   
“I slept here, why do you care?” Louis nearly spit as he lifted his gaze off of the form in his hands.  
“Well, I don’t know Lou, maybe because I am your wife?” Perrie replied, her voice with a hint of sarcasm and annoyance. Louis looked at her, seemed to be rolling his eyes as he took on step closer to her.  
“You seem to have selective memory when it comes to that, love.” He replied snidely. Perrie’s eyes squinted.  
“Excuse me?” she said before getting back on both her feet so she could take a step closer to him.

“Oh, you didn’t seem to remember that you were my wife when you hooked up with Zayn… multiple times.” He spit.

Harry tried to look away. Because he was intruding, he knew that. Intruding on a private conversation. But he couldn’t. He wanted to know what she had to say for herself, what _he_ had to say for himself.

“Louis… you know that’s not true! I never slept with Zayn, he’s a pompous douchebag with an ego bigger that the Grand Canyon!” Perrie yelled. Louis sneered, turned away for a couple of seconds before he turned back.  
“Yeah, I don’t know what his “ego” has to do with you shagging him but-“  
“Louis, shut up before you say something you will regret.” Perrie interrupted.

“Like what? Like “I want a divorce”. Is that what you meant?” Louis spit as his lips curved into a smirk. Perrie on the other hand looked rather appalled.  
“What?” she whispered, the horror settling on her face. Harry had to take a deep breath, pretend like he wasn’t over the moon over hearing those words escape Louis’ lips.

“I want a divorce. I’m done.” Louis repeated.  
“But… Louis, I’m pregnant.” Perrie pleaded. He sneered once again.  
“Yeah, well… we both know that’s not mine!” he yelled, his accent growing stronger.

Harry swallowed again as he saw tears gathering in Perrie’s eyes.  
“… and frankly I’ve met someone else.” Louis continued.

Perrie looked away, took a deep breath before she looked back at him.  
“So it’s true… what Jesy told me about you and an intern in the on call room. Who the hell is she?!” She was screaming now, walking closer to him.

Harry started to feel a bit scared. The guilt slowly returned. Was he the reason their marriage now seemed to be falling apart right in front of him? Or was he just the last drop in an already full cup? The last straw for Louis to pretend to be someone he was not?

“She’s…” Louis began, stepping away from her.  
“Who is she?!” Perrie screamed at him.  
“She’s not a she.” He mumbled under his breath before he backed away.  
“What?!” Perrie yelled, but he was already at the elevator.

Harry turned away, took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He wasn’t going to read too much into that. He really wasn’t. But how could he not?

“Styles? You’re patient is next.” He opened his eyes quickly as the radiologist spoke.  
“Yes, of course. Take him in.” he replied as he tried to gather himself.

He was about to close his eyes again as a well-known Irish accent broke the air.

“That was a hell of a ride.”

Harry turned to face Niall.  
“How long have you been standing there?” he asked. Niall took a step closer to him and smirked.  
“A while.” He replied.  
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Harry said. Niall chuckled and shrugged.  
“Didn’t wanna tear your attention away from the show I guess.” He replied.

So he had apparently seen how closely he had observed the conversation, how flustered he had gotten. Maybe Niall was about to expose him. Well, there certainly was something about the way he was staring at him with a knowing look. Harry swallowed quickly.


End file.
